Castle HeardEverything
by LittleLizzieZentara
Summary: At times it's almost like Rick Castle can read Kate Beckett's mind.  But this time, he actually can.
1. Chapter 1

**Every time I watch an episode of Castle I'm always left wishing that Castle knew more about Kate's thoughts and feelings. This has only intensified as I've been reading fan fiction. It was after reading yet another story where there was a mention of how different things would be if Castle knew what was in Beckett's mind that I got this idea. I was going to wait until I had completed the story to post this, but since this story starts the day after Castle and Beckett get back from LA, I decided I would go ahead and post the first chapter now.**

**Disclaimer: This story is being posted a day late because the site wouldn't let me post it and since I don't own this site any more than I do Castle, there was nothing I could do about it.**

"_Okay, what___aren't___you telling me?"_

"_So much, Castle. So very much."_

**The Mistress Always Spanks Twice**

_ "You can't kiss him, Kate."_

The sound of Kate Beckett's voice froze Rick Castle in his tracks. In his hands were the two coffees, one for him and one for Kate that he brought every morning to the precinct. It wasn't so much the sound of that voice that created the stunned reaction in him, but the words being uttered in that voice. Words that weren't muttered, barely distinguishable. No, these words were clear, the tone definite.

"Beckett?" Rick tone was uncertain. "Is everything okay?"

Kate looked up from the file she was perusing, a soft smile on her lips. "Hey, Castle," she greeted him easily. "Sure, everything's fine. Why do you ask?"

"Umm, maybe because yesterday you caught Royce's killer?" he offered. _Or maybe because you just mentioned not being able to kiss someone?_ He'd willingly hand over a $1,000 bill to know who that someone was.

Kate sighed. _If only._

Rick's eyes widened. He clearly heard her "say" the words...but her mouth hadn't moved. Had the stress of fighting his feelings for Kate finally made his mind snap?

"Justice was served," Kate finally said. "I'm not saying it's not hard, that I'm not going to miss him, but I'll be fine."

_I don't want to look back on my life and wonder, if only._

Kate took the coffee Rick was handing out to her and took a sip before giving him a questioning look. "Are _you_ okay?"

_He's acting odd. Odd for him. Why hasn't he sat down yet?_

Rick numbly dropped into 'his' chair. He lifted the cup of his own coffee to his lips when he heard her again.

_Kate, you cannot kiss Castle. You know you can't._

He froze, staring at her in shock.

"What, Castle?" It was the question she always asked him when he was silent for too long, especially when he was watching her during that silence. Which he usually was.

_No matter how much you wish you could._

"Castle, what?"

Rick knew he should say something. Anything. But the only thing he could think to say was, You wish you could kiss me? NOT a good idea.

It wasn't only the fact that he could hear her voice when she obviously wasn't speaking that amazed him. His comfort with the unusual made it clear to him that somehow he was hearing her thoughts. How, and why, he hadn't a clue. But it was the only even remotely reasonable explanation he could come up with.

What amazed him even more in this situation was the complete lack of evidence in her eyes regarding what she was thinking. For a long time now, it had often been like he could read her thoughts. But most of it was that what she was thinking was revealed so clearly to him in her beautiful green eyes. That, and the fact that their thoughts often ran parallel to each other. It was a main reason why they were so often able to finish each others sentences, particularly when building theory during an investigation.

_If you start kissing him now, you might not be able to stop until-_

Suddenly, an image of them, skin on skin, kissing passionately, flooded Rick's mind. Was that what _she _was thinking about?

"I'm fine," he choked out.

The image shattered.

"You don't sound fine," Kate said. "You sound like you're getting a cold or something."

"Dry throat," he rasped out. "I'll be right back."

Rick rushed back to the break room. He went back to the espresso machine, turned the switch to cold and let out a long breath as he waited for the liquid to fill the mug. As soon as it was ready it drained it one long gulp.

Rick knew he needed to act natural. If he continued to act strangely, she would send him home. And home was the last place he wanted to be right now.

Although...these were her private thoughts. Private thoughts she didn't know he was hearing, probably didn't want him hearing. She would be mad if she knew. Worse than that, she'd be hurt.

That made up his mind for him. Kate was mad at him, or at least highly irritated at him, on a fairly consistent basis. But hurting her...that was something he never wanted to do. She would think he was nuts, but it wouldn't be all that hard to prove it.

"Kate, there's something I have to tell you..." he started when he got back to her desk.

"It's going to have to wait, Castle," Kate told him. "We have a body."

**Please review. I'm a little nervous about this idea, since it's somewhat different from what I usually write. I have the idea mapped out in my head, but if anyone has any specific thoughts that they want Castle to overhear let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, I'm rendered speechless by all of the wonderful reviews and all of you that added this story to story alerts and favorites. And that's as rare for me as it is for Castle. :)**

**Disclaimer: The way that you know I don't own Castle-I would NEVER have Kate tell Rick that they were over. EVER. The fact that there is going to be a 4****th**** season is the only reason I'm not totally freaking out over that particular comment.**

"Oh, so many layers to the Beckett onion; however will you peel them all?"

**Ugh, yet another one I can't remember the reference to. Help!**

_ I don't know if I could do this without Castle._

Kate's thoughts for the last several minutes had been focused on preparing for what they'd find at the crime scene. There was nothing in her thoughts that Rick wouldn't have already known, even without his new mysteriously acquired ability. It wasn't until they were in her car, pulling out of the precinct parking lot, that her thoughts starting surprising him again.

He glanced over at her from where he sat in the passenger seat but still her eyes gave away nothing other than determination to find justice. It was the same expression she always had on her face when they were headed to a crime scene.

_Roy was right. I was torn up. I didn't handle Royce's case like a cop. Instead, I panicked. Everything I did, _everything_ was because I was feeling rather than thinking. _

Rick had seen that. It had been the main reason he had followed her to LA. He had known that the Captain wouldn't be able to keep her from going after Royce's killer. Kate had said that she was committed to catching the murderer, but it had gone deeper than that. She had been desperate, like the thought of letting the culprit slip through her fingers would have made her fall apart.

It had been an odd situation for Rick, being the voice of reason. He shuddered to think of what would have happened if he hadn't been there. It had been quite a trick to act in subtle ways to reign in her impulses as best he could, while still doing it in an outrageously Castle-type fashion so that she wouldn't get suspicious. He had a feeling that if she had been more her objective Detective Beckett self about the whole thing she would have caught on to him in a matter of minutes. And she would NOT have been happy.

_ Ugh, I'm such a girl sometimes._

Rick couldn't keep himself from smiling at that. Kate threw him a questioning glance and he forced himself to wipe the smile off his lips. With a small smile and shake of her head, she let it go.

_Huh, I wonder what Castle was thinking. Oh, well. I'm just glad he's here._

There was a moment's pause and then, _No Kate, you can't hold his hand. Not right now. You're too emotional. It might give away too much._

Rick wanted to growl with frustration. Even when he could read her thoughts, he still didn't know everything she was thinking.

Although he really didn't want to know anything she wouldn't willingly tell him herself. Every little detail she shared drew them closer together. He didn't want to sacrifice that because he was too impatient to wait.

He couldn't tell her about his ability to read her mind now, though. Not on the way to a crime scene. Something like that would throw off her focus. He knew that she would be worrying about every single thought in her head, wondering how he was interpreting it and what he would say about it later.

_ He's always been there when I needed him. Even when he didn't know it..._

An image filled Rick's mind, this time of a young woman sitting in bed, clutching a book to her chest while tears streamed down her face. It only took him a moment for him to realize the woman was Kate, although from the looks of it, a Kate that was around a dozen years younger than she was now.

Image after image then rapidly filled his mind. Kate sitting in a chair engrossed in a hardback book. Kate walking on a sidewalk on a sunny day, another book under her arm. Kate running up stairs, tears welling in her eyes, clutching yet another book in her hands. And then...Rick couldn't believe what he was seeing. Because there was Kate, in the middle of a long line at a bookstore, a book in her hands, looking directly at him.

Kate had come to one of his book signings, one of his relatively early book signings.

Rick had known from the very first day that she was a fan. Anyone who would remember his book "Hell Hath No Fury" as she had was an obviously devoted fan. But he realized that it went deeper than that. He was sure that in each image he had seen, the book that she had with her had been one of his. With the way that she had clutched the book in that first memory, like it was a lifeline, he just knew.

His books had helped Kate deal with her mother's death.

**Please review. Who knows? You guys might be able to render me speechless again.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay, I'm able to post this before the season finale starts!**

"You grew up."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far. That property on the moon?"

"Um hmm."

"I just bought that last month."

**Lucky Stiff**

Kate's mind had been silent for the remainder of the drive to the crime scene. Close to ten minutes had passed after Rick had been surprised by Kate's memory of her being at his book signing so many years ago. This had given Rick just enough time for the shock of his new gift to wear off.

It only took a few seconds for ideas of how he could work his mind reading ability into his next Nikki Heat novel to flood his brain. A mind reading victim. A mind reading murderer. Oh, or maybe he could have Nikki Heat get hit by lightning and become a mind reader. Or, maybe it would be better if Jameson Rook became the mind reader, since the character was based on Rick himself. Hmm...

Nah, having the male lead be the mind reader would be too much like that Mel Gibson movie.

Wait. That Mel Gibson movie. What was it called? He had watched it with Alexis a few years ago. Ah, yes, What Women Want. That was it.

Wait a minute. In that movie, hadn't the guy been able to read the minds of _all _the women he came into contact with? What if that happened to him?

Oh, boy. Rick wasn't sure if that would be a good thing or a bad thing, if his mind reading skills went that far.

And truthfully he really didn't want to know what all women wanted. Knowing what Kate wanted, on the other hand...

But then, he already knew that he could read Kate's mind.

What if this mind reading thing was permanent? He would be okay with that, if it was only Kate's mind that he could read. But _every _woman_? _Like his mother? Meredith? Gina?

He shuddered. Those last two would be especially horrifying.

"You okay, Castle?" Kate's voice startled him out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" Rick gave her a confused look. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay," Kate said in a tone that clearly told Rick she didn't believe him.

_This is Castle. If he wants to talk about it, he will._

Yep, didn't believe him.

Kate slid into a parking spot a few yards away from where Rick could see Lanie hunched down over a body. Here was the perfect chance to test his theory. If he could hear Lanie's thoughts, chances were good that he would be able to hear many other peoples' thoughts, as well.

Wait. Was their a possibility he could hear the murder victim's thoughts? How cool would that be? True, the victim would be dead. But if his or her ghost was hanging around, would he be able to hear it? It would definitely help in the investigation. He'd be like a psychic detective. He could just imagine what Kate's reaction to _that _would be.

"Castle, you coming?" Kate's question startled Rick from his musings.

"Um, yeah," he said and quickly got out of the car.

He had just caught up with the detective when an image flashed through his mind. It didn't catch him quite as much by surprise as those first images had. This time, he knew exactly which of Kate's memories was seeing: Kate at the moment police officer Raglan had told them about her mother's death.

Rick knew he should have expected this particular memory. She had mentioned that every time she went to a crime scene her mind went back to that night. That empathy for the victims and their families was one of the things that made her the phenomenal homicide detective that she was.

Seeing it, though, was much different from just hearing about it. The urge to gather Kate in his arms was nearly overpowering. Only knowing that she wouldn't welcome the gesture, would probably be embarrassed and even angered by it, kept him from acting on the burning urge to hold her.

Rick was finally distracted when they approached the body, and Lanie, who was

now standing by the female murder victim.

So, the victim was female. Which might increase his chances of hearing her ghost. He listened intently, waiting for anything-crying, screaming, moaning, or words. Anything would do, at least for a start.

After a full minute passed without anything but Kate's thoughts in his head, he let out a disappointed sigh. So, he wouldn't be able to hear ghosts, after all.

Come to think of it, he wasn't hearing Lanie's thoughts, either. And judging from the baffled look Lanie was giving him, she was definitely thinking _something_.

Rick forced himself to tune in to what Lanie and Kate were saying regarding the way the young woman had been murdered. It was an odd feeling. He could honestly say it was the first time he'd ever had to _force_ himself to pay attention to such a thing. But being a mind reader was a huge distraction.

"So, what's your theory, Castle?" Kate asked.

_I can't believe I actually have to ask. What is with him today? I hope he comes up with a good one. I could really use one of his wild theories right now._

Hmm. So Kate needed a crazy theory? Well, that was a good thing, considering that he doubted he could come up with a realistic one at this point.

"Aliens," was what he came up with. "Mind reading aliens that have infiltrated the C.I.A."

Suddenly, Rick heard a giggle. He first glanced down at the dead body, wondering if maybe he was able to hear ghosts, after all.

But wait-that sounded like Kate. She had giggled just like that just a couple weeks ago when Alex Conrad, his writing protégé, had sent her a text about their plans to get together that night. Rick had been bothered on so many levels by that. It had driven him crazy that she would laugh at a text that young upstart had sent when she so rarely laughed at the many joking comments he came up with on a daily basis. Sure, she would smile sometimes, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd heard her laugh at a comment he had made. And Kate Beckett had a beautiful laugh.

Suddenly, the giggle changed to out-right laughter.

Now he _knew_ it was Kate. She thought his theory was funny! If it wouldn't have made the detective and medical examiner think he was crazy, he would do a fist pump. Kind of like he had when he'd defused that bomb. The feelings coursing through him were surprisingly similar.

It made him want to laugh when the only outward reaction Kate gave to what he'd said was a classic Beckett eye-roll. Kate Beckett thought he was funny. A whole lot funnier than Alex Conrad could ever dream of being.

This mind reading thing was just getting better and better.

**So what do you guys think?**


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter was getting a little long, so I split it in to two. Because of that, there is a cliff-hanger on this one. But I already have the rest of the next chapter written out, so I'll be posting it right after I post this one.**

"He's into you, but you're determined to not give in to these feelings you clearly have for him."

**Nikki Heat**

_"I'm tired of fighting it."_

Rick had just turned off the hot water of his shower when Kate's thought filled his mind. It had been almost two hours since Rick had left Kate back at the precinct. They had spent the majority of the day as they usually did when they were beginning a case-interviewing people in the surrounding area and going back to the precinct to build theory and see what detectives Ryan and Esposito were able to find out. Kate had been so focused on the task at hand that Rick didn't hear any thoughts that would have distracted him as they worked together.

When he'd walked towards the elevators at the precinct Rick had wondered at just how far a distance he would still be able to hear Kate's thoughts. Her thoughts had faded from his mind before he got off the elevator. So he couldn't be any further away to hear her thoughts than he could be to hear a normal spoken conversation, apparently.

_"He's right. It's real, and I've been fighting it."_

That was definitely her. Which meant that she was close by. He grabbed the large white towel hanging off the towel rack and quickly dried off the excess water.

_"But I've been fighting it for so long that I don't know how to stop."_

Never before had he been so glad that he'd had the foresight to make sure to buy a loft with a full bathroom right off the master bedroom. Rick hurried over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of blue jeans folded in the bottom drawer.

_"I don't know if I _can _stop."_

He had no idea what the 'it' was Kate was referring to in her thoughts, but whatever it was sounded pretty serious.

_"I was so close to risking everything..."_

Rick had just put the jeans on and was halfway to the closet where he kept his shirts when the image that filled his mind brought him to an abrupt halt.

It was the hotel suite he and Kate had stayed in while they were in LA. They were sitting on the couch. From their positions Rick knew exactly what part of that night she was remembering...

* * *

><p>"You know what I thought when I first met you?" Rick asked.<p>

_I can't even begin to imagine. There are way too many possibilities. But he sounds pretty serious. _

"Hmm?" Kate slowly lifted her gaze to meet his own,

"That you were a mystery I was never going to solve."

_Okay, that wasn't what I was expecting._

"Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm still amazed at the depth of your strength, your heart," Kate couldn't stop her smile at that one, "and your hotness."

Thankfully, Kate was able to keep the giggle from escaping.

But she was still giggling in her mind. _Classic Castle. Amazingly sincere, incredibly sweet and a shameless flirt._

"You're not so bad yourself, Castle."

_I probably shouldn't have said that. Not right now, anyway._

For a split second, Kate felt the emotions that flooded her radiating from her eyes. She knew he could see everything she was feeling in that moment.

_Oh, crap. This is so not the time for this!_

She struggled to put on her poker face but knew that she hadn't entirely succeeded.

_I can't do this. Not here. Not now._ _You need to get up now, Kate._

She didn't move.

_Kate, you need to get up. You know what could happen if you don't._

Still, she didn't move.

_Kate, you really need to move._

Again, no movement.

_Those eyes...how is any woman supposed to be able to resist Rick Castle when he looks at her like that? But I'm a cop. I have to be strong. I have to focus on finding Royce's killer. I can't..._

"I should go. It's late," Kate finally said, forcing herself to pull back and rise from the couch.

_Walk, Kate. Just walk._

Kate was almost to the door when Rick called out, quietly saying her name.

_I can't believe how hard this is. I want...but I have to...I wish..._

"Good night, Castle," she forced herself to say.

_Shut the door, Kate. You have to shut the door._

As soon as she heard the definitive click of the closed door, Kate turned and leaned against it, her hands covering her face.

What you and Castle have is real, Royce had said in his letter.

_I know it is, _Kate couldn't argue the fact anymore._ I knew it even before he wrote the letter. But reading it, seeing that he saw it in that short time he was around us..._

But you're fighting it, the letter had continued.

_Back when he saw us, I was. With everything I had. Now..._

Kate ran her hands through her hair.

Risking our hearts is why we're alive. That part of the letter had hit her hardest.

Kate cupped her hands near her mouth._ Can I do it? Can I really take that risk? At least the way things are now, things are familiar, easy. I get to be around him every day, we're partners. If I took the risk and lost him...but I could lose him, anyway. Just by doing nothing._

_You have to make a decision, Kate._ She rubbed her hands together. She looked down at the door handle. _All you have to do is open the door. If you're going to take the risk, Kate, you have to open the door._

She started to reach out for the handle, hesitating for a split second. _Once you start down this road, you're not going to be able to go back._ She put her hand on the handle.

_You don't want to live the rest of your life wondering, if only_, was how the letter had ended.

_I don't_._ I can't._

She opened the door quickly, stepping back into the room. Only to find the door to the other adjoining room closing behind her partner.

_I'm too late. I hesitated too long._

Kate forced herself to go back into her room. _I could follow him. I could knock on his door and..._She gave a quick, slight shake of her head. _No, I can't. Not tonight. I don't have my usual self control right now. I can hardly keep from throwing myself at him as it is. And I don't _do_ stuff like that. But with Castle...No, it's better to focus on the case for right now. Maybe after we get back to New York..._

* * *

><p>Suddenly, the mini-movie of Kate's memory running in Rick's mind stopped. Shock had frozen Rick in place. He was stunned at how much he had missed that night. The level of emotion that she had concealed was staggering.<p>

_Kate, you can't focus on that right now._

In the next instant, there was a knock at his door.

**Before you go on to the next chapter, please review this one. I'm curious what you all think is going to happen next. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

"Yeah, well Castle, I'm not all work."

"Don't get into a drinking contest with her. She can take you."

"Thank you."

"Oh, I don't need to drink to take him."

**A Deadly Game**

**And now it continues...**

Rick forced himself to move. When he opened the door in response to Kate's knock, Kate's thoughts hit him like a sledgehammer.

_Breathe, Kate, breathe._

_Ruggedly handsome doesn't even begin to describe..._

_If I didn't know better, I'd think Castle planned this._

_How much self-control am I expected to have?_

Rick was beginning to wonder the same thing. The only outward sign Kate gave of her inner thoughts was a quick glance to his bare chest before looking up at him with a teasing smile.

"Is this a bad time?" she asked in a tone to match her smile.

_What if it's not just Martha and Alexis that are here with him? Or what if Martha and Alexis are out but he's not alone? Please, not that. Not now. I couldn't take that right now. Or ever, but especially not right now._

It was all Rick could do to keep his jaw from dropping in shock. The teasing glint in Kate's eyes and her playful tone were so diametrically opposed to what she was thinking that it was difficult for his mind to make sense of it.

"Not at all," he forced himself to say in an easy tone, stepping back to let Kate enter the loft. Kate walked in and then just stood there, not looking at him, not speaking.

_Should I say something? Suggest he put on a shirt? But if I do that, it might give too much away. But if I don't, pretty soon I might..._

Rick's mind was once again filled with Kate. Actually, his mind was often full of Kate. But this time, it was her fantasy, not his.

_Kate groaned and turned back around. "Rick, you don't play fair," she growled, making her way over to him in two swift strides. She put her hands lightly on his shoulders. "How am I possibly supposed to resist this?" Slowly she started running her hands down his chest, light kisses following where her fingers touched. After a few moments she moved her hands back to his shoulders and leaned in to place a kiss on his neck. Her gaze was filled with longing when she looked up at him again. _

_"Kiss me, Rick, please," she whispered._

_His eyes filled with the same look that he'd had before that first undercover kiss, Rick put one hand on her hip in the same spot he had put his hand before to stop her from grabbing her gun. His other hand tangled in her hair, he leaned in and covered her lips with his. The kiss was exactly the same as the first undercover kiss. But this time, they didn't break apart, and they seamlessly moved into the second, deeper kiss. Just like before, Kate moaned, but there was no guard to interrupt them this time and no reason to stop. So the kiss went on, and when Rick started to slightly bend her backwards, he lifted her gently into his arms and carried her to his room._

Rick hated to do it, but he couldn't take any more. He didn't know how far Kate's fantasy was going to go, and his self-control was hanging by a thread as it was. If he let the scene go on, fantasy would swiftly become reality.

"So, Kate, what's on your mind?" Rick asked her in a casual tone. He immediately winced at his choice of words. Thankfully she hadn't turned all the way back around in time to see it.

_What's on my mind? Umm...how do I answer that? Why am I here? Shoot, I can't remember. Okay stop and think. Why did I head over here...oh, now I remember. Thankfully._

It was all Rick could do to keep the beaming smile off of his face. As much as she pretended otherwise, he now knew with certainty that she was affected by him every bit as much as he was by her.

"We have a suspect," Kate told him. "He's lives just one block over and so I figured I would just stop by and pick you up, instead of calling."

_Yeah, that's why. It had nothing to do with the fact that I wanted to spend more time with him. Nope, not at all. Argh, why do I have to be such a girl! This is getting ridiculous. I'm going to have to do something soon before I totally lose my mind._

She wasn't going to have to worry about that for long, Rick decided. If she didn't do something soon, he would.

**I can't WAIT to hear what you all think of this one.**


	6. Chapter 6

**This one is for those of you that asked me to write a longer chapter. It didn't start out that way, but as I was watching scenes in preparation for this chapter's flashbacks, I decided to use more of them than I originally planned. I can't promise that there will be any other chapters of this length. In fact, their probably won't be. But you never know...**

**Disclaimer: Since I haven't added one of these in a while, I figured this would be the chapter to do it. I do not own Castle. This means that the parts that you recognize are not mine, but belong to Andrew Marlowe and ABC.**

"Like it or not, I'm your plucky sidekick."

"Plucky sidekick always gets killed."

Partner, then."

"Okay."

**Knockdown**

Sleep was a lost cause for Rick that night. He tossed and turned in bed for almost an hour before he gave up and went to his study. Tension lined every part of his body and he released it in the only way available to him at the moment-through writing. He spent hours at his laptop, filling page after page with a story that he knew would never see the light of day. Rick didn't even try to put any real fiction in to it. The only thing different from what he had experienced that day was the character names, Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook. He didn't even turn Kate's fantasy into a reality for Rook and Heat. The whole thing was just too personal for that.

Finally, in the early hours of the morning, Rick fell into an exhausted sleep. Only to be tormented by frequent dreams of he and Kate living out Kate's fantasy, over and over again.

Regardless of his sleepless night and dream-filled early morning, Rick still entered the precinct bullpen around the same time of the morning that he always did, coffees in hand. That he had downed one 12oz cup of ice coffee in less than ten seconds before placing his usual coffee order wasn't something anyone else needed to know. He figured that this was a day he was going to need the extra caffeine.

Rick knew that Kate wasn't sitting in her usual chair before he looked over in that general direction. Either that or his mind reading ability was only a twenty-four-hour thing.

_"...maybe I should tell Castle. He's going to wonder why I haven't already told him as it is."_

Rick looked over to Captain Montgomery's office, where the "sound" of Kate's thought had come from, to see her just leaving her boss's office.

_"I just knew that it was time. Josh wasn't any more into the relationship than I was." _

Kate had broken up with Dr. Motorcycle Boy? When? He wasn't really surprised that she hadn't told him; Kate wasn't one to share personal things easily, not even with him. He _was_ a little hurt; they were best friends, and he wanted to be there for her. Always.

_I can't believe that it took me this long to realize that my relationship with Josh was never anything more than a rebound relationship, a way to try to get over..."_

Rick knew there was a memory coming. There was something in the tenor of her thoughts that alerted him to that fact. He just really hoped that there wasn't going to be anything about Kate being intimate with anyone. The way he felt right now, it would either make him want to punch a hole in a wall or give Kate a kiss that would make the kiss in her fantasy seem like a peck on the cheek.

Thankfully, there was no image of Kate being with any guy. No, this was worse. Much, _much_ worse.

Rick recognized right away the time frame of this particular memory: a couple days before Memorial Day weekend the year before, when he had invited her to spend the holiday with him-and Alexis-in the Hamptons. And now he was sure he was going to see her heartbreak over breaking up with her boyfriend at the time, Tom Demming...

* * *

><p>Rick and Kate were at the precinct, talking about their current case, when Rick said, "I was serious about this weekend."<p>

"You're seriously asking me to your place in the Hamptons?" Kate asked.

_How many women has he had up there, anyway? Although, he did say Alexis would be there, so he must not be planning to try anything. Which doesn't bother me. At all...It _doesn't!

"I promise, no funny stuff," he went on. "Just a friendly get-away. It'd be fun."

"Yeah..."

_It _would_ be fun. Bon fires, roasting marshmallows, telling ghost stories...I can just imagine the kind of ghost stories Castle would come up with. It would be just the kind of weekend I could use right now. But I have to work. And even if I didn't, I have a boyfriend..._

* * *

><p>Seeing that moment through Kate's eyes, Rick was stunned at how much she had really considered joining him and Alexis for the weekend. How had he missed that?<p>

The image shifted. Rick had this particular memory burned into his brain, himself. Not too much time had passed since Kate had told him she couldn't go to the Hamptons because she had to work when Demming issued his own invitation to Kate to go away for the weekend...

* * *

><p>Rick and Kate had been discussing a twist in the case when Rick saw Tom Demming heading towards them. He gave the other man a barely civil greeting which was returned in kind before Demming turned his attention to Kate.<p>

"So you know that little place in Asbury I was telling you about around the corner from our beach house?" Demming asked Kate.

"Um hmm," Kate said.

"Well, they just had a reservation open up on Friday," Demming went on. "We leave early enough, we can probably make it."

_How do I tell him I have to work? And why do I not really want to go, even if I had the time free?_

"Yeah, umm, will you let me check into it?" Kate asked.

_I so don't want to do this. But I can't just tell him no._

"Great," Demming said. "I'll see you later."

_This going to look so bad. Castle is going to think I just blew him off. Now what do I do? I have to think of something..._

"Beach house," Rick said. "Thought you were working this weekend."

_He _does_ think I just blew him off. And he sounds hurt. I hate this._

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Castle," she said. "I should have just told you. I didn't want things to be awkward between us, now that Tom and I are..." _Just say it, Kate. Why is it so hard to say it? _"Together."

_He is hurt. He's _really _hurt. But what can I do? I can't just throw away a good relationship because I would rather..._

"No, I get it," Rick said. "You want your private life to be private."

"Yeah, I just don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable." _Like I do right now._

"No, no, of course not," Rick was quick to agree. "Actually, that makes what I was going to say a little easier. Um, what with my book due, I was thinking it would be a good time for us to take a break."

_A break? Why?_

"A break," was all she could think to say.

"Yeah, God knows you gotta be tired of me following you around all the time..."

_Tired of him following me around? I haven't been tired of him following me around in months! Didn't he hear me when I said I've gotten used to him pulling my pigtails, that he makes my job more fun?_

"And I really do need to get some work done," Rick continued.

_Well, I can't argue that. After all, even though we're partners, this isn't really his job. But this sounds ominous. How long of a break does he need? Because it's Castle that needs the break, not me._

"With everyone gone, I figure, why not just stay up in the Hamptons, you know? Get away from the city for a while."

"For how long?" _I sound composed, right?_

"The summer, at least."

_At least? What does that mean? How long is this break going to be? And why do I feel like I'm going to start crying any second?_

"I thought this would be our last case," Rick finished.

_Last case?_ Kate opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. _How do I respond to that?_

Detectives Ryan's and Esposito's approach spared her from having to come up with anything.

_What if this is our last case? What if I never see him again...?_

* * *

><p>Rick could hardly wrap his mind around all that he had just learned. It had been enough of a surprise to realize that Kate hadn't really wanted to go with Demming, especially after the discovery that she had really wanted to go to the Hamptons. He had assumed, as she had rightly thought, that Kate had just blown him off so that she could spend the time with her boyfriend. He'd been irritated at the time, wishing she had just been upfront with him about it. He hadn't had any clue that his leaving had left her so shaken. Rick was starting to have a hard time keeping up with the emotional onslaught, worrying what else was coming...<p>

* * *

><p>"So, Castle's last case, huh?" Esposito asked Kate.<p>

"Um hmm," was all she said.

"Ryan and I thought we'd do a little going away party," Esposito said.

"Yeah, well it's not like he's leaving forever," Kate responded.

"You sure about that?" Esposito asked.

_No. Not even close. But right now, I have to believe that, or I'm not going to make it through this._

"Why do you think he's been following you around all this time?" Esposito asked. "What, research? The guy's done enough research to write fifty books. Look, whatever the reason is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't include watching you be with another guy."

_He's right. I'm losing Castle because of Tom. Tom, who's a great guy, but he's not-he's not Castle..._

Rick was now completely stunned. He had a feeling that his first assumption had been completely wrong. It was starting to sound like it wasn't Demming she'd been trying to get over, after all.

Again, the image shifted. It was all Rick could do to not hurry to Kate's side and ask her to stop. He had a feeling he knew where this was going...

* * *

><p>"Sad a man had to die because all the people involved were too scared to say what they really felt," Captain Montgomery said, referring to the case they had just closed.<p>

"Yeah, it is sad," Kate agreed.

_And my partnership with Castle could die for the same reason. He's already stopped bringing me coffee. I know it's a small thing, but it's our thing. He's already pulling away. What if he doesn't come back, all because I don't say anything?_

Rick came over just then, interrupting her musings. He spoke about going to pick up Alexis from her visit at Princeton, telling her that he would be back in time for his "surprise party."

_Tell him, Kate. Tell him now._

Kate could tell that he knew something was up as his voice trailed off and he looked at her enquiringly.

_But I can't. Not yet. I have to talk to Tom first. I can't have that in the way when I tell Castle..._

* * *

><p>Rick bit back a groan when the image changed once again. What was it Kate was going to tell him...?<p>

* * *

><p>"Castle, do you have a second?" Kate asked.<p>

_I have to do this now. Right now. If I don't, I might lose my chance. He's leaving. Really leaving. And I don't know for sure if he's ever coming back._

"Of course, yeah," Rick said and followed her out of the room. When Kate had closed the door behind them, he asked, "What's up?"

_Just spit it out, Kate._

"Look, I know that I'm not the easiest person to get to know," Kate began. "And I don't always let on what's on my mind, but this past year, working with you," _Careful, Kate, you don't want to have everything come spilling out,_ "I've had a really good time."

"Yeah," Rick said, "me, too."

"So, I'm just going to say this, and..."

But she didn't get the chance. Because at just that moment Gina approached.

_What is Gina doing here?_

"Richard, you ready?" Gina asked.

"Hey," Rick said, turning to the blonde. When Gina reached his side, he turned his attention back to Kate. "You remember Gina, my ex-wife?"

"And publisher," Gina was quick to add.

"Yeah, we spoke the other day," Kate said. "Looks like you finally tracked him down."

"Oh, yeah, he's such a little boy sometimes," Gina said, rolling her eyes. "I mean, I don't know why. It's not like I bite. Much. We better get going, we don't want to be stuck in traffic all night."

"Going?" _She doesn't mean..._

"To the Hamptons," Rick confirmed.

"For the weekend?" Kate asked. _Please let it only be for the weekend. Please._

"No, for the summer, actually," Gina corrected her. "So I can stay on top of him while he finishes his book."

_He's taking her for the summer? But..._

"I'm sorry," Kate said, "I didn't think the two of you got along."

"We didn't," Rick confirmed. "But then, last night, on the phone we got to talking..."

"We ended up talking for hours," Gina finished the thought.

_They're even finishing each other's sentences! That's _our _thing._

"Just like old times," Gina said.

"Yeah," Rick agreed.

_I've lost him. I've really, truly lost him. I think I'm going to be sick._

"So, I'm sorry, you were telling me something," Rick said, turning back to Kate after looking tenderly at Gina for a few moments.

_What do I say now?_

"Yeah, I wanted to say..." _Think of _something_, Kate!_ "Have a great summer."

"You, too," Rick said.

_Did he buy it? I'm not sure he bought it._

"And like you said, it's been really, really great," Rick added.

"Yeah, it has," Kate said.

_You can't hug him, Kate_, was Kate's thought as she and Rick shook hands.

As Kate watched Rick walk away with his arm around Gina, she couldn't keep herself from saying, "See you in the fall?"

"See you in the fall," he agreed.

_But will I really...?_

* * *

><p>As the image faded, Rick knew that he had seen enough. He couldn't do this any more. He had to tell Kate about his ability to read her mind. And he needed to tell her now.<p>

**Please leave a review on your way out. You guys really do inspire me. Your ideas and reactions give me ideas I wouldn't have gotten without them. Some of you have inspired entire chapters. **


	7. Chapter 7

**It took me a lot longer to get this chapter out than I had planned. The frequent headaches I dealt with this week just weren't conducive to writing. Thankfully I seem to be over them and should be able to get future chapters out much faster.**

"Castle, do you have a theory you'd like to share with the class?"

**3XK**

There was no trace of Kate's inner turmoil when Rick reached her side. He hated that she still felt such a strong need to hide her heart. She'd gone through so much needless pain by keeping the depth of her feelings from him.

Not that he was going to push her. He was very careful when it came to Kate. After the events of the last twenty-four hours, he finally had a much better idea of how emotionally vulnerable Kate truly was, especially in relation to him. His protective instincts had kicked in now. He wasn't often able to protect her physically-although he had been able to do so much more than even he would have expected, often without a gun and always without a badge. But he would protect her heart with everything he had in him.

And that would start by doing his best to no longer invade her privacy. Even though it wasn't something he could help, it had been eating away at him. She should at least have the knowledge she needed to guard her thoughts when she was around him. He could at least give her that much.

"Kate, can we talk?" Rick wasted no time in saying.

"Sure," Kate agreed easily. "What's on your mind, Castle?"

"Not here," Rick said, setting down the coffees he had been holding.

_This sounds serious. Wait. Did he just call me Kate?_

"Okay, Castle," Kate said. "Where do you want to go?"

"Not far," Rick assured her. "I know we're in the middle of a case. How about the observation room?" he suggested, referring to where suspect interrogations were observed.

_The observation room? Why not the break room? He must not want anyone to see us. I wonder if this has anything to do with what was bugging him so much yesterday._

Kate nodded her agreement and the two made their way to the observation room in silence.

Once they were in the small room and Kate had closed the door behind them, Rick couldn't wait any longer. Ignoring Kate's soft squeak of surprise, he gathered her into his arms and just held her.

Of course, after one brief moment of shock, Kate started attempting to wriggle out of his hold. "Castle, what are you doing?"

"Please Kate, just humor me, okay?" he asked. Now that he finally had her in his arms, however platonic the moment was, he didn't want to let her go. At least, not yet. Well, in actuality he never wanted to let her go, but that wasn't at all practical, especially at the moment.

"Castle, I humor you all the time," Kate pointed out.

Rick couldn't really deny the truth of that statement. "True, so it won't be hard to do it again, will it?"

_Why am I even fighting it? This is exactly what I need right now._

Kate sighed and settled down in his embrace.

_But he can't possibly know that. So why is he doing this? Does this have to do with whatever he wants talk to me about? Is he okay? What if something is really wrong?_

When he felt Kate tense up Rick slowly, reluctantly, lowered his arms from around her and put a small amount of space between them.

"I like my theory," Rick started.

"What?" Kate didn't bother to hide her confusion.

"About the mind reading aliens infiltrating the C.I.A.," he reminded her. If he was going to prove his mind-reading abilities, he was going to do his best to use examples that wouldn't make her any more embarrassed than she already was going to be.

"_That's_ what you needed to talk to me about?" Kate asked incredulously.

"It's a part of it," Rick said.

"_Part_ of it?" _Maybe there really is something wrong with him. Maybe he's lost his mind._ "What could you possibly need to talk to me about that would have to do with mind reading, aliens or the C.I.A.?"

"Mostly it has to do with mind reading," Rick said.

"Mind reading?" Kate repeated dumbly. "Castle, I don't have time for this..."

"You liked my theory, too," Rick was quick to continue. At the skeptical look she gave him, he added, "I'm not saying you put any credence to it, but you liked it. It made you laugh."

"Castle, I did not laugh," Kate denied swiftly.

"True, not at first," Rick nodded his agreement with that statement. "At first, you giggled. I didn't know for sure if it was you. I even wondered if at first, it was the victim's ghost."

"The victim's ghost?" Kate couldn't keep the panic from her voice. _Castle thinks he's hearing ghosts? He really has lost it!_

"But I recognized your laugh," Rick said. "So I knew it was you. And since I couldn't hear Lanie, I realized that it must just be you that I can hear."

"Just me?" As brilliant of a detective as Kate was, Rick could tell she was having a hard time making this all make sense. It was understandable, really. Kate had never really set much stock in the paranormal. "What do you mean, just me?"

"It's only your mind I can hear," Rick explained, his words coming in a rush.

"Just my mind that you can hear."

_Is this some kind of joke? Is he trying to get back at me for that whole mummy's curse thing?_

Rick couldn't quite keep the grin off of his face at that one. That was when he'd learned that Kate Beckett had a streak of the prankster in her. They had been at the museum following a lead for a case when Rick had accidentally opened the mummy case. When a museum employee mentioned a curse on anyone who saw the mummy, Rick couldn't help wondering if maybe there was something to it. When Kate had realized that Rick was taking the curse at least somewhat seriously, she couldn't resist teasing him about it, in her own sly way. But if he had wanted to come up with a prank to get back at her for altering the chair and doing whatever it was that she had done to the espresso machine to make it seem to explode-all to make him even more worried about the curse-

he would have come up with something far more believable.

"Honestly, I never thought of getting back at you for that," Rick said.

"For what?" Kate asked.

"The whole mummy curse thing," Rick said. "If I had, I certainly wouldn't have come up with mind reading. That would be way too hard to fake."

Kate's jaw dropped.

_How did Castle know what I was thinking? He couldn't possibly be able to actually read my mind! _

"Yes, I actually can," Rick replied to her unspoken thought.

"Can what?" Kate asked suspiciously.

"I actually can read your mind," Rick explained. "That's what you were just thinking about."

For an instant there was a hint of shock in her eyes. But after a moment, she said, "Castle, anyone would have been able to guess that."

"Maybe so," Rick said, "But what about my knowing that my books helped you deal with your mother's death? I could see the memories you had about that on the way to the crime scene yesterday."

Kate's eyes grew wide. "You can _see_ my memories, too?"

"Good, you believe me."

"Uh-I-um..." Kate stammered. "I wouldn't exactly put it like that."

"I would," Rick said. "I can give you more examples if you want, but I'd really rather not. Those are the only safe ones."

"Safe ones?"

_What does he mean by that? How long has he been able to do this?_

"Since yesterday morning, when I arrived at the precinct," Rick again answered her unspoken thought.

_Since yesterday morning...yesterday morning...then that means..._

Thoughts that she now realized he had overheard flooded Kate's mind before she could stop it.

_You can't kiss him, Kate._

_I don't know if I could do this without Castle._

_I could really use one of his wild theories right now._

_I was so close to risking everything._

_How much self control am I expected to have?_

_I can't believe it took me this long to realize that my relationship with Josh was never anything more than a rebound relationship, a way to get over-_

All color drained from Kate's face as realization hit. "Everything," she whispered in horror, "you heard everything."

"Kate..." Rick didn't know exactly what to say.

She didn't interrupt him. For a few seconds, she didn't even move. Until she started shaking. "So what was it? Some kind of sick joke? Did you get a kick out of it?"

"What?" Rick gasped. "Kate, no!"

"Then why didn't you tell me, Rick?" Kate's using his first name told him more than a thousand words would have. "Why didn't you tell me as soon as you knew?"

"At first, I was in shock," Rick said. "It's one thing to spin wild theories, it's quite another to actually be living one."

"So are you telling me you're an alien now?" Kate asked, unable to stifle a laugh even in the midst of everything.

"What?" Rick blinked in surprise.

"Mind reading aliens infiltrating the C.I.A.?" Kate reminded him. "So when are you planning to do that, Rick? You know I can't allow it."

Rick's eyes widened at the implications of what he'd just said. "No!" He shuddered as the thought of the FBI coming after him, or even worse, someone thinking he was an alien and deciding to do "experiments" on him. "Just the mind reading thing, I swear!"

"That's bad enough," she muttered under her breath, humor gone as quickly as it had arrived. She took a deep breath and looked Rick right in the eye, her Detective Beckett interrogation glint clear in her gaze. "So, tell me, Castle, why didn't you say anything after the shock wore off? I know it couldn't possibly have lasted all day."

"You're right," Rick said. "It didn't. But I didn't want to distract you from the case, and we were spending most of the day dealing with suspects and building theory."

"You still should have told me, Castle," Kate wouldn't let him get away with excuses for keeping such a thing from her.

"You're right," Rick agreed. "I should have. And there were a few times I almost did. At first, I didn't want to distract you. But then you distracted me."

Rick winced as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He knew that was exactly the _wrong_ thing to say. The flicker he got of her memory of her fantasy confirmed it.

"Get out," Kate ordered, her voice cold.

"Kate, I'm sorry," Rick rushed to apologize. "I wasn't implying that it was your fault..."

"Castle, get out," Kate repeated. "Now. Go home. And don't come back until I call you. Unless I call you."

Rick knew there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say. Not right now, anyway. He needed to give her time to work through things. With a heavy heart he walked out of the observation room, not bothering to let himself have one last backward glance.

**I just realized that's two angst-ridden chapters in a row. Sorry about that, but it really couldn't have been any other way, not with Rick finally telling Kate that he could read her mind. The fluff should be coming back soon.**

**As always, I love reviews. Who knows? Your review might give me an idea to incorporate into the story. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here is the first chapter of the weekend. Hopefully I'll be able to get another chapter or two posted before Tuesday.**

"When you come right down to it, would you be willing to break her out of prison? Because that, my boy, is true love."

"Don't worry, Castle. I'd get you out."

**Anatomy Of A Murder**

"Darling, what are you doing home already?" Martha asked Rick when she came sweeping into the loft. Rick, sitting on the couch with his feet up on the nearby coffee table, looked up from his laptop where he had spent the last four hours since he had left the precinct looking for anything he could find on mind reading. "Is Detective Beckett sick and she didn't come in to work today?"

"No," Rick assured his mother, "She's just not happy with me right now and told me to go home."

"I'm sorry, kiddo," Martha, having made her way to her son's side, put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Surely it can't be too serious. She'll probably be calling you any time...Richard, what are you doing?" she asked, having just noticed what Rick was looking at.

"Research," Rick answered.

Martha's baffled gaze went from the computer screen, to Rick and then back to the computer screen. "But mind-reading? Really, Richard. Don't you think that's a bit...out there for your readers?"

"This isn't for a book," Rick said.

"But why else would you...?" Martha's voice trailed off. "Then the legend is true," she murmured.

"Legend?" Rick's head snapped up at that. "Mother, what are you talking about?"

"Darling, you wouldn't by chance be hearing Detective Beckett's thoughts, would you?"

Rick's jaw dropped. "_What _legend, Mother?"

"I'll take that as a yes," Martha decided that now was not the time to tease her love-struck son. "There's this old family legend; I first heard about it from my grandmother when I wasn't much younger than Alexis is now. No one knows for sure, but family consensus is that the story dates back to the mid seventeenth century. Your who-knows-how-many-times great grandfather Jack was in love with the daughter of one of the big landowners of the day. She was this beautiful young woman named Isabella. Because Jack was only a stable boy and also because Isabella was betrothed to the son of another of the big landowners, there was absolutely no chance of Jack winning Isabella's hand."

"Does this have anything to do with mind reading, Mother?" Rick asked impatiently. He thrived on good stories, no matter what their source. But his mother was not the best storyteller in the world, and he was much too concerned about his own situation at the moment to have much patience with a long-winded tale.

"I'm getting to that, Richard," Martha said. "It was only a few days before the wedding when Jack was tending Isabella's horse and he overheard Isabella talking about how much she was dreading her upcoming wedding. He was surprised that she would mention something like that so openly. But when he located her, he saw that she wasn't speaking at all, and yet her 'voice' kept on about how miserable she was. Although how the girl was able to go to the barn without a chaperone, I have absolutely no idea. Back then a woman was never allowed to go anywhere alone. When I played Beatrice in Shakespeare's 'Much Ado About Nothing' which was set during that same time period there was always some other woman present..."  
>"Mother," Rick interrupted, "I'm sure your story is fascinating, but what happened with Jack and Isabella?"<p>

"Sorry, dear," Martha said. "As I was saying, Jack and Isabella made plans that night to run away. They ended up joining a circus; I'm told they were the first circus people of our family line. It was said that as soon as they safely escaped, Jack could no longer read Isabella's mind."

"Is Jack the only mind reader in our family that you've heard about?" Rick asked, trying to glean as much as he could to help him figure things out for his own situation.

"Nothing definitive," Martha said apologetically. "I haven't thought about it in years, but there were rumors that my grandmother's father had the gift. It was whispered that such things only happened when a person with the gift found his or her soul mate. And that it would only be manifested when the relationship was in danger."

"But Kate and I have both been in danger, many times," Rick protested. "Why would it not happen until now?"

"I really can't say, kiddo," Martha had to regretfully admit. "But I remember it was specifically said when the relationship was in danger, not when one of the two people involved were in danger."  
>"So what kept it from happening last summer?" Rick asked. Considering what he now knew about what Kate went through back then, he was sure he could consider that a time when their relationship was in mortal danger.<p>

"I don't know what to tell you, Richard," Martha said. "I've told you all I know."

Rick sighed. "You've given me a lot more than I had an hour ago. The computer research was going nowhere, and this makes as much sense as anything."

"Well dear, if you stop hearing Detective Beckett's thoughts after everything is settled between you two and there is no longer any threat to your relationship, then I'd say you have your answer."

Rick nodded in agreement. The only question was, how long was he going to have to wait?

**Please R&R. They really do inspire me. A special shout-out to phnxgrl, whose review of the very first chapter gave me the idea of how Castle got his mind-reading powers. This story wouldn't have been the same without it.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here is the second chapter of the weekend. Hopefully I will be able to post another one tomorrow.**

"And no matter the obstacles, no matter how hard you try, you'll never get rid of me. I love you."

**Anatomy Of A Murder**

Rick spent the next couple of days with his emotions all over the map. At times he was euphoric at the thought of the implications of his mind reading ability, that of he and Kate being soul mates. There were other times that he was angry with himself for waiting to tell Kate about his mind reading abilities, no matter how legitimate the excuses seemed at the time. He fell into an exhausted sleep both nights with a heavy sadness weighing on him, not knowing when he would be able to see her again.

But his most prominent emotion was determination. He had promised her 'always' and Richard Castle did not make promises lightly. With his history of failed relationships, Kate may question that aspect of his character, but there was much that she still didn't know about his past.

Rick knew Kate was aware that Meredith, his first wife, had cheated on him, but the detective didn't know that the woman had walked out on him. Although the marriage hadn't lasted, he couldn't bring himself to regret it, because Meredith had given him Alexis.

As for his second marriage, Gina had wanted to end things because she felt that he wasn't ambitious enough since writing didn't consume his every waking thought. Their constant fighting, especially at the end, had made it easy for him to let her go. Neither he nor Alexis needed to live in that kind of chaos. The only reason he had even tried a second time with Gina was to try to get his mind off of Kate with her new boyfriend. Although he had ended the relationship with Gina the second time, he had broken no promises, for he hadn't made any.

Then there was Kyra, the one relationship in his past where he had been the most emotionally committed. Kyra had asked for space, and he had given it. He just hadn't realized that his college sweetheart hadn't wanted the distance to remain permanent.

Rick didn't regret that, though. If he had stayed together with Kyra, he never would have had Alexis. And he wouldn't trade his daughter for anything. There had been a slim chance of his getting back together with Kyra when they had met up again while he and Kate had been investigating the murder of one of her bridesmaids only hours before Kyra's wedding to another man. But it didn't take Rick long to realize that Kyra was deeply in love with her fiancée, and Rick's own feelings for Kyra had been little more than nostalgia over his first love.

If things hadn't happened the way they had, Rick wouldn't have the hope of forever with Kate that he had now. Considering that he could honestly say Kate was the only person in his life as important to him as Alexis, he would fight for a chance with her until his dying breath.

The only thing that would stop his fight would be if Rick knew she was truly happy with someone else, and she had made the ultimate commitment. Kate had told him early on that for her marriage was a "one and done" thing, and he wouldn't try to stand in the way of that. Thankfully the threat of that was gone, since he knew that she was no longer with Dr. Motorcycle Boy. Even with the threat of the other man removed, Rick still couldn't quite bring himself to use the doctor's name, at least not in his private thoughts.

It was late morning on the third day since Kate had ordered him out of the precinct when his phone finally rang and the name Beckett appeared on the screen.

"Castle," was all he said when he answered the phone. Frequently he would drop a humorous quip when he knew she was on the other end of the line, but his emotions were too raw for that at the moment.

_You can do this, Kate. You're a cop. As long as he follows the rules, things will be fine._

Rick debated answering her thought instead of waiting for her to speak, but he figured that might irritate her enough to change her mind, so he kept quiet.

"Castle, we need to be clear on one thing before I can let you come back," Kate finally spoke after a few moments of silence. "Under no circumstances can _anyone_ at the precinct know about your special ability. Not only would it be a huge distraction, but chances are the city would revoke your permission to shadow me. Do I make myself clear?"

"Understood," Rick said solemnly.

"All right then." _That was easier than I thought. I figured he might want to brag about it to Ryan and Esposito._

"Kate, I may kid around a lot. I may have more than a passing fascination with the oddities of life. But reading your mind is no joking matter. And I wouldn't boast about it, to Ryan, Esposito or anyone else."

While Rick was still worried that answering her thoughts might set her off again,

he didn't want there to be any doubts in Kate's mind about how seriously he was taking how this whole situation was impacting her.

"Thank you, Castle," Kate said in a subdued tone. "So, will you be able to make it in today?"

Rick couldn't resist smiling at the question. If it wasn't so cliché, and if it didn't give away more than he wanted to reveal at the moment, Rick would have told her that wild horses couldn't have kept him away. It said a lot about his emotional state that he couldn't think of anything more original than that.

"Castle?" Kate's tone was uncertain when he didn't answer her right away.

"I'm on my way," Rick told her. Seconds later he grabbed his coat and keys and was out the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**Yay, I finally got the third chapter of the weekend done! Now it will be going back to the regular schedule. I will be aiming for having two chapters out a week until this story is done. It will probably be sometime towards the end of the week before the next chapter is up. This story is turning out to be taking some turns I hadn't originally planned, which means I need to map out some things before writing the next chapter. But on the up side, the story will also have more than the original 5-10 chapters I thought it would when I first started it. A few of you have mentioned liking the part in chapter eight where Martha mentions the gift of mind-reading being connected to when the relationship is in danger. Quite honestly, I hadn't thought much about that statement, but my co-editor picked up on it right away, and when a few of you also brought it up, I knew it would need to be addressed. I know there are those of you that don't like an author not having a definite plan in place for every aspect of the story, and I apologize for that. But I have some ideas I'm tossing around in my head right now, but I'll need to watch the LA episode again to solidify things. All of that to say, if any of you have any ideas of how the LA episode could be related to Caskett being in danger, please let me know in your review or a private e-mail. You may just come up with an angle that I haven't thought of that will add another dimension to the story.**

"He's a writer. How much trouble could he possibly be?"

**The Dead Pool**

Rick made it to the precinct in record time. While he didn't want to appear overly eager, he couldn't keep himself from a faster than normal clip as he headed into the familiar building. Besides, who was he kidding? His longing to see Kate was screaming out of every pore of his being. The tightly controlled energy that raged within him made breaking out into a full-fledged run an almost overpowering temptation.

He debated taking the stairs, so that he could keep moving. Being still, even for only a few seconds, seemed like too much to ask at the moment. Only knowing that the elevator would be faster kept him from acting on the impulse.

A couple seconds after the doors of the elevator closed Rick was taken aback by an image, one of Kate's memories, flooding her mind. He wasn't sure why he was so surprised, whether it was because it had been a couple days since the last time such a thing had happened, or because he was surprised that she was thinking of him again. Although, why should he be surprised that he was on her mind? After all, less than an hour had passed since she had called him, allowing him to come back to the precinct.

It took him no time at all to place this memory. She was right outside the house where his book launch party had taken place; it was probably only minutes before he had met her for the first time...

* * *

><p>showed her badge to the two security men that were blocking the main entrance, the normal determination for justice shining from her eyes. She strode purposefully through the crowd, coming to a brief halt when she spotted him.<p>

_Kate, you can do this. Just walk up to him like he's any other suspect._

Kate took a deep breath and continued walking.

_I can't believe it. It's him, it really is! He's even hotter now than last time I saw him. Why is it men always improve with age and women just look older? It's so unfair!_

* * *

><p>As with all the other memories Rick had glimpses of, none of what she was thinking appeared on her face. But the lilt of her thoughts was unmistakable.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Just don't gush, Kate. This is not the time for that. Actually, there will <em>never _be a time for that. You don't gush, remember that._

By this time Kate was standing mere feet away from him. As soon as he spotted her, Rick held out the pen, assuming she was another Castle groupie wanting a moment of his time. He asked her where she wanted his autograph. Considering the rumors that he would sign pretty much any body part a woman wanted him to, she wasn't caught off guard by the question. Kate acted quickly to dispel any such thoughts from the writer's mind, holding out her badge and stating her reason for crashing the party in no nonsense tone.

_Good, he's cooperating_, she thought as he got down from the stool he was sitting on and stood next to her. She gestured for him to lead the way. _That means I don't have to cuff him._ An image flashed through her mind before she could stop it: her favorite writer handcuffed in the back of a squad car, her bent over him, kissing those tempting lips..._Kate, stop it!_

* * *

><p>Rick realized he must have been so lost in Kate's memory-and remembered fantasy-that he hadn't even heard the ding of the elevator, because suddenly the images in his mind were gone. The doors of the elevator were wide open and Kate was looking right at him. Rick knew that it was her realization that he had seen the memory that had just been on her mind which had caused Kate to stop thinking about her memory so abruptly. The fact she was looking directly at him with a horrified gaze only confirmed it.<p>

A part of Rick really, _really _wanted to tease her about the fantasy he had just seen; more than that, wanted to offer to head to the nearest squad car and make her fantasy a reality. But he knew he couldn't. Not only because he had promised to not to do anything to give away his mind reading ability to anyone at the precinct, but because he knew that she was embarrassed enough as it was.

Having thoughts and fantasies about Kate flash through his mind was a multiple-times-a-day occurrence for Rick whenever he was around her. Come to think of it, even when she was miles away, it still happened with considerable regularity. And he knew all too well how difficult it could be to control those fantasies, especially in those first few seconds.

Although he doubted that thoughts and fantasies of him filled Kate's mind as often as his mind was filled with thoughts and fantasies of her. That was something being able to read her mind had proven to him, actually. He could empathize with having a fantasy enter one's mind during a time when that was the last thing a person wanted to have happen.

And it never left his mind that, under normal circumstances, these were memories and fantasies he would never be seeing. More than that, they were things that he knew Kate didn't _want_ him to see.

Kate may finally be aware that he could read her mind, but Rick knew she hadn't known how close he was until those elevator doors had opened. It wasn't until then that she could have known that he had been close enough to see and hear what had just been on her mind

"Hey, Beckett," Rick greeted her when he reached her side. "Any new leads we need to go track down?"

A flicker of relief lighted Kate's green eyes for a brief moment as she realized he wasn't going to bring up what had so recently been on her mind. The look was quickly replaced by one of puzzlement, as she glanced down at his hands.

It didn't take any time for Rick to catch on. He had forgotten the coffee. He _never _forgot the coffee! No matter the late or early the hour when they arrived at a crime scene, he always had two coffees in hand when he arrived. The same thing went for when he arrived at the precinct. At the very least, he would grab her cup from the espresso machine in the break room.

Giving her an apologetic look, he sat down in his chair. As soon as he knew where they were in the current investigation, he would head back to the break room and get her a cup. And when they headed out, he would stop by the nearest coffee shop and get her favorite-a Grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla.

"We're between cases, actually," Kate told him. "So now it's just working on the backlog of paperwork."

"Ah," Rick said. "Well, I'll just go get the coffee, then."

While he would much rather not have to leave again after being around Kate for such a short period of time, he decided that this would be the best time to go get that latte since they could get a call at any time. Thankfully there was a coffee shop right next to the precinct, so he was able to hand her the latte within fifteen minutes. Not wanting to do anything to put her more on edge than she probably already was, he got out his phone and started playing his one of his favorite games, Angry Birds. He would much rather just be watching her but his mind reading, something he couldn't help, was enough for her to have to deal with. Now was definitely not the time to simple stare at her, an activity that she had more than once termed 'creepy.'

When over an hour had passed and Rick's stomach reminded him that he had yet to eat that day, he suggested that she take a break and head over to Remy's, their favorite burger place. Predictably, she shot down that idea, so he quickly ordered delivery from her favorite Chinese restaurant.

He had just started to swallow his first bite of his egg roll when his mind was flooded with another one of Kate's memories. Since she hadn't had a non-work related thought in hours, Rick was caught completely off-guard and started choking.

This was another of those memories Rick didn't have a hard time placing. He recognized that look in her eyes. It was shortly after he had first looked in to her mother's case. She had warned him that if he took such an action they were done. The problem was, by the time she said that, he had already set things in motion. Once he had received the new information, he knew he'd had to share it with her. He had been lucky that she had allowed him to shadow her on one last case after that. His confidence that he would be able to change her mind and let him continue to team up with her on cases had been blown to bits during the conversation that was now running through Kate's mind...

* * *

><p>"You dredged up my past for you, Castle, not for me," she told him, "and you're too selfish to even see it." <em>This shouldn't be so hard. Castle did the <em>one _thing I asked him not to. Telling him to go should be simple. But I've just started getting used to him, even liking having him around. _"The case is closed, Castle," she said, referring to the case they had just solved. _Like my mom's case should be. I can't go down that road again. I can't. But if there's a real chance of finding her killer...no, I can't go there. Not now._ "We made a deal, and I expect you to honor it." _I can't risk him dredging up even more. And I'm too emotionally shaky right now to deal with him..._

* * *

><p>"Castle, are you okay?" Kate asked now, a look of guilt in her eyes.<p>

_Crap. That was bad timing. I've been able to hold thoughts back for hours, and _now_ one sneaks through? Sorry, Castle._

After a couple deep coughs and a long drink of water, Rick was able to wheeze, "It's okay. Just caught me by surprise."

Kate looked him right in the eye as another image filled his mind. He was amazed that she would do it, but he knew that she was purposefully allowing him to see this memory. And once he recognized the memory, he knew why. It was when he had apologized for digging around in her mother's case, and she was allowing him to understand why she had forgiven him so readily...

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry," Rick said, solemnly and sincerely. "What I did was wrong. I violated your trust. I opened old wounds and I did not respect your wishes. And if we're not going to see each other again, then you deserve to know-I'm very, very, sorry."<p>

_He gets it. He really, truly gets it. And he really means it. I didn't know a guy could do that, could truly see that he was wrong and actually have the courage to admit it. Especially Castle. I've misjudged him. Now all I want to do is hug him, tell him I forgive him. But I can't. That would be showing too much weakness. I can't show weakness around him, I just can't._

As he turned and walked away, her thoughts continued. _But I can't just let him go. He needs to know I appreciate his apology and that I forgive him. And that I don't want him to leave. I want him around now. I don't know for sure when it changed from tolerating him shadowing me to wanting him there. All I know is that I really don't want him to go._

"Castle," she called out to him._ But you can't let him know how much you want him around. So don't look up, act like it's no big deal._ Waiting for him to stop and turn in her direction, Kate said, "See you tomorrow."

* * *

><p>As soon as the image faded, Kate spoke. "I really am sorry, Castle," she said, referring to how the timing of the memory that had caught him by surprise had almost caused him to choke.<p>

"It's not your fault," Rick assured her. "You can't control those things."  
>Kate sighed. "Neither can you, right?" she asked, referring to his ability to read her mind.<p>

Rick shook his head.

_This is going to be more difficult than I thought._

**As always, please R&R. And I have a question not related to this story. I've read other similar things in other author notes, so I thought I would put it out there. I am looking for a story that is based on the picture of Caskett sitting in chairs back to back, handcuffed together. There a few out there, but the one I am looking for is at least over 5,000 words, possibly over 10,000. I started reading it but had to turn off the computer before I could save it to my favorites, and I don't remember the title or the author. Any help with finding it would be greatly appreciated.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Finally, after a more than 4 day wait, here is the next chapter. Chapter 12 should be up much more quickly. I may even write it out tonight. I'll have to see how things go.**

This is so delightfully not you.

**One Life To Lose**

Rick wasn't quite sure what to do. The difference a few minutes made had put him in a mild state of shock. Before their lunch had arrived, Kate had been careful to keep her mind on police business. He could almost feel the mental effort she was exerting to keep any unwanted thoughts at bay. Then it had all changed.

It was like a dam had burst inside of her. Like those two memories, the one that she hadn't been able to hold back and the one that she allowed him to see, had destroyed the mental barrier that had kept unwanted thoughts and memories from slipping through.

Rick had always thought that the reason she let him stay shadowing her after he returned from the Hamptons was because he solved the case first, winning the bet they'd had going. Kate's memory that lasted no more than five seconds, a memory where

Esposito had asked Kate how long it took for Castle to figure things out, showed that he was wrong. Kate had merely let Rick _think_ he was the first one to figure things out.

A few minutes after that Rick learned how much Kate enjoyed teasing him. Not that he was totally oblivious to the fact. She frequently said things to get a reaction out of him, from teasing him about "hot, wild, kinky" things she liked to do-putting killers behind bars-to popping an extra button on her top when he suggested it. Then he saw Kate's memory of showing up at his Heat Wave book reading, wearing a red dress that had made him stumble in his reading. Her head had been full of thoughts like _He is _so_ easy_ and _Getting to Castle is such a rush!_ The one thought that she'd had that made it almost impossible for him to hide his inner reaction from Kate was _He makes me feel like the sexiest woman in the world without even trying. I don't know _what_ I'm going to do if he ever_ _puts any effort in to it._

Kate looked up from her paperwork at the end of that one, panic in her eyes. Rick just smiled serenely at her. It was excruciatingly difficult to maintain the facade as she anxiously searched his expression. Evidently he was able to pull it off, because after a moment relief flooded her eyes and she returned her attention to the current folder she was perusing.

Then Kate's mind turned to remembering her high school friend, Maddie, accusing her of being "hot for Castle" and wanting to "make little Castle babies." Rick abruptly rose from his chair and headed towards the break room. He had had wondered what had been on her mind when she'd had that horrified look in her eyes. Now he knew. It was a very brief, but very detailed, fantasy of making Castle babies.

"Hey, bro, you okay?" Esposito asked when Rick passed his desk. Rick could do nothing more than a quick nod as he kept going. He didn't even turn to respond to Ryan's asking Kate, "What's with him?"

Even though he really didn't need any more caffeine, Rick knew he needed to look like he came to the break room for a reason. A reason other than getting away from the temptation that was Kate Beckett.

Rick put his hands on the counter and took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm his racing heart. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. Resisting Kate on a normal day could get tricky. Thinking that she would use her extensive police training to find a creative, or at the very least painful, way to stop him had kept him in check.

After everything that Kate had unintentionally revealed since he'd started reading her mind that worry was swiftly fading away. So now the only thing that was keeping him from acting was knowing that she would have kept this knowledge from him if she could. To try something now would be taking advantage of her at her most vulnerable. The mere thought of it made him slightly sick.

Rick was at a loss. He couldn't think of a good way to handle the situation. The thought of staying away from Kate made his heart hurt. But the temptation she presented was becoming more and more difficult to fight.

"Castle?"

Rick clenched his fists as the familiar scent of cherries that alerted him to Kate's presence hit his nose, and he could practically feel her breath on his neck. _Why _was Kate standing so close? He could tell she was hardly a foot away from him. Didn't she realize how difficult this all was for him? Could she really not be aware of what her fantasies were doing to him?

Rick couldn't stop the groan from escaping as he realized that she probably didn't know. Maybe it had reached the time when she should be aware of _exactly_ what all of this was doing to him.

"Castle, are you okay?" Kate asked.

"No Kate, I'm not," Rick told her bluntly. "Right now I'm trying to come up with every reason I can think of to keep from kissing you. And there are some good reasons. But I can only take so much."  
>Kate sighed. "I'm sorry, Castle."<p>

"It's not your fault, Kate," Rick assured her. "I've been trying to think of how to deal with all of this but the truth is, I've got nothing."

_What should we do? I don't want you to have to stay away from the precinct. You're my partner, and I don't want us to lose that._

"I don't want that either, Kate," Rick said.

_I'm trying to keep my thoughts under control, Castle. I really am. But sometimes..._

"Not helping, Kate," Rick ground out between clenched teeth when her mind filled with another fantasy of them kissing, this time right in the break room of the precinct.

"Maybe we should look at this like a case," Kate pondered aloud. "Maybe if we can figure out why this is happening, we can figure out how to put an end to it."

Rick knew the "it" she was referring to was the mind reading. "That just might work," he said.

"But not here," Kate was quick to say. "I really don't want anyone else to know about this."

"We could go to my place," Rick offered.

"Castle," Kate said his name in a warning tone.

"No funny business," Rick promised. "My mother, at least, should be there. She could be a great help, actually."

"Are you sure you want to risk her reaction to the news?" Kate asked.

"She already knows," Rick said.

"What?" Kate asked. "How?"

"We should probably talk about that when we get there," Rick replied. "She'll be able to fill in any gaps, in case I've forgotten anything."  
>"All right then," Kate agreed, still slightly baffled. "Let's go."<p>

** As always, please leave a review on your way out. A special thank you to Darling Dracorex, who was able to find the story I was looking for. I will be putting in the flashback you mentioned, it just won't be for a few chapters.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Here it is the conversation between Martha, Rick and Kate. I think this is my longest chapter yet!**

"Now for the hard part, kid. It's clear that you and Castle have something real and you're fighting it. But trust me, putting your job ahead of your heart is a mistake. Risking our hearts is why we're alive. The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder, 'If only.'

_**Love And Die In LA**_

"So how is it that your mother knows about this, Castle?" Kate demanded to know as soon as they entered the elevator of his apartment building.

Rick knew that the only reason she had waited this long to ask the question was because she didn't want to risk anyone overhearing anything. They had arrived at his apartment in separate cabs so that Kate wouldn't have to fight the temptation to interrogate Castle in front of the cab driver. That, and so that whatever thoughts that entered Kate's mind wouldn't push Rick over the edge and cause him to do something he would later regret.

"Mother came in to the room when I was researching it," Rick explained.

"You were researching m-" Rick quickly clamped his hand over her mouth, earning a glare from Kate.

"Security cameras," he whispered before pulling his hand away. In most places, security cameras wouldn't be an issue. But one of the reasons that he had chosen this building was because of the heightened security, which included audio as well as visual monitering of the elevators and hallways.

Kate sighed. "I should have thought of that," she muttered under her breath. "So you were doing research? Did you find anything?"

"Nothing that made any sense," Rick said.

"Castle, _nothing_ about this makes sense," Kate retorted.

"Actually, from a literary standpoint, it kind of does," Rick said.

"A literary standpoint?" Kate gave Rick an exasperated look. "What about facts and hard evidence?"

"Do you really think this is a situation that lends itself to facts and hard evidence?" Rick asked pointedly. "This isn't a murder investigation, Kate."

The ding that alerted the pair that the elevator had reached Rick's floor sounded and the doors quickly opened. As they walked out of the elevator and towards the door to the Castle penthouse, Kate said, "I _know _that, Castle. I just think that we should gather as much evidence as we can instead of just jumping to conclusions."

Rick quickly unlocked the door and stood back for Kate to enter, following her inside. He closed the door behind them before saying, "There might be more of a need to think like a mystery writer to this than you may think."

"What makes you say that?" Kate asked.

Martha's greeting kept Rick from being able to respond right away.

"Darling, hello," she said, walking down the staircase in her normal flamboyant fashion. "And Kate, how lovely to see you again, dear."

"Hey, Martha," Kate greeted her partner's mother. "I'm sorry for just dropping in like this, but we could really use your help. Castle said that you were able to give him some insight into our unique situation?"

"Unique, to say the least," Martha said with a light laugh. "But I've already told Richard everything I know. There's not really more I can add from what he's already explained to you."

"I haven't explained anything yet, Mother," Rick said.

"Why ever not?" Martha asked in surprise.

"We don't want anyone in the precinct to know about this," Kate explained. "We'd rather just keep it between the three of us."

"Richard, why didn't you explain the story on your way from the station?" Martha asked.

"We took separate cabs," Rick said.

"Whatever for?" Martha asked. Rick's lack of a response and the light blush staining the detective's cheeks seemed to be answer enough for the older woman. After waiting a few moments, she prodded her son, "Well, go ahead, Richard. Tell the poor girl."

"I'd rather hear it from you, if you don't mind," Kate said.

"But why, dear?" Martha asked, baffled. "Richard is far better at spinning a tale than I am."

"Since you had the information first, it would be better to hear it from you," Kate said patiently. "We are trying to treat this like a case as much as possible, so you could say you are the closest eyewitness that we have."

Rick knew that his mother probably found the idea somewhat odd. But he was sure that she was too used to his thinking outside the box to question it too closely. He was proven right when Martha simply told Kate the story she had told Rick.

Kate listened silently as Martha filled her in on the story of Jack and Isabella, but Rick could hear every thought of disbelief that ran through her mind.

_A girl from a rich family in love with a farm boy? That's like 'The Princess Bride.' So is Jack going to turn out to be a pirate, like Wesley became the Dread Pirate Roberts? Wait a minute. Did she just say _soul mates?_ Relationship in danger? But how has my relationship with Castle been in danger? Wait a minute-what relationship? Our working relationship? But if that was the case, why didn't it happen last summer when...okay, Kate, don't think about that right now._

"It almost sounds like a fairy tale," was all Kate said after Martha had completed the tale. "Or at least something you would read in a romance novel."

"And how would you know about what would be in a romance novel, detective?" Rick asked with the familiar twinkle in his eye. He had been so careful with Kate the last few days, not teasing her about any of her thoughts. But she had said this out loud and he just couldn't resist.

"I do read, Castle," Kate snapped. "Not usually romances, but...anyway, that's not the point. The _point_ is that there is nothing remotely believable about Jack and Isabella's story."

"Like there's nothing remotely believable about me being able to read your mind," Rick responded. "And yet, I can."

Kate didn't even have a mental response to that one. She swiftly tried to think of any books or movies that addressed mind reading. _All fiction, and all totally unbelievable,_ she thought with disgust.

"My personal favorite was 'What Women Want," Rick said after listening to Kate mentally discard story after story. "But I guess in this case, it would be more like 'What Kate Wants," he added, his tone revealing his delight at his clever quip.

"Not funny, Castle," Kate said as Martha coughed to cover up a laugh.

"Wow, you really _didn't_ laugh at that one," Rick said after a moment, surprised. He'd half been expecting to hear another mental giggle from Kate like he'd gotten with his mind reading aliens infiltrating the C.I.A. theory.

Kate just rolled her eyes. "Okay, since we know that whatever we come up with is going to have some element of unbelieveablity in it, Martha, is there anything more you can tell us that might be of some help?"

"Only that there were rumors that my great-grandfather on my mother's side of the family was said to have the gift," Martha said. "Nothing was ever proven, but there were whispers. Great-grandfather was very reserved. My acting abilities came from my father's side of the family."

"The con artists?" Kate asked Castle with a smirk.

"Yep," was all Rick said in reply.

_Oh no, in teasing Castle I was teasing Martha, too!_

"Don't worry about it," Rick said. "Mother wasn't offended, were you?"

"Not at all dear," Martha assured the detective. "I'm far to used to your teasing my son to take anything personally. Besides, it's good for him. It keeps him humble."

Kate couldn't help the laugh that escaped at that one. "Humble? Castle?"

"More humble than he would be otherwise, dear," Martha said.

"That's a scary thought," Kate mumbled under her breath, to which Rick gave her a mock glare. "Since a hereditary gift is the most plausible explanation we have right now, we'll just have to go with that. So the first question is-"

"What triggered it?" Rick completed the thought.

"So what do we have from Jack and Isabella's story?" Kate wondered aloud. "We know that they loved each other but were being kept apart because of social status and because Isabella was promised to someone else. So would your success as an author and that I'm a low-paid cop be a part of the reason?"

"Doubtful," Rick replied immediately. "Things aren't like they were back then. And even if they were, there is no way I would let that stop me from being with you."  
>Kate's eyes widened for a moment. <em>Don't think anything, Kate, not a <em>thing_. _"Okay, so social standing isn't the reason, then." _Actually, it makes sense. If you went for social status, you would have married a famous actress or model or something."_

"And Meredith has never been all that famous," Rick pointed out. "And Gina was my publisher."

Martha's face revealed her confusion, but she remained silent.

"Then the question is when was our relationship in danger?" Kate wondered.

"It would have to be recent," Rick said. "Otherwise, this would have started a long time ago."  
>"So how far back do you think this could go?" Kate asked.<p>

"Your guess is as good as mine," Rick said. "What relatively recent event would have had the chance of ruining our relationship?"

"I can't really think of anything that would have threatened our work relationship since you came back from the Hamptons," Kate said. "You get along with everyone at the precinct, the mayor supports your shadowing me, being with me on cases hasn't interfered all that much with your writing-"

"Except that Isabella and Jack really didn't have a working relationship," Rick said in a gentle tone, not surprised that she had immediately jumped to the conclusion that the relationship in question was their working one. "Unless you count them working together in the circus. But the mind reading had stopped by then."

Out of the corner of his eye, Rick noticed the expression of fascination on his mother's face. He wasn't surprised; she really hadn't been around them much when they were in the midst of building theory. She remained silent, as people usually did once he and Kate got started.

_I don't know if I can do this._

"Kate, it's going to be okay," Rick said, putting a hand reassuringly over one of her own. "Whatever happens, it's going to be okay."

"You can't promise that, Rick," Kate whispered.

"I can," Rick said, a note of steel entering his voice. "And I do. There is no pressure. You know the only thing I want is for you to be happy, Kate."

Kate closed her eyes for a brief moment. _You need to calm down, Kate. Treat this like a case. You've got to treat this like a case._ "Okay, so it isn't the working relationship, then. It's the personal one, our friendship."

As stubborn as Rick knew Kate was, he was still somewhat surprised at how hard she was fighting the idea of them having a romantic relationship, of them being soul mates. But he knew how raw her emotions were, how vulnerable her heart was. He'd made a vow to protect her emotionally, and he certainly wasn't going to break that now. So, until she could handle something more, he would humor her.

"So what has threatened our friendship lately?" Rick wondered aloud.

"Nothing," Kate said after a minute. "If anything, our friendship has gotten stronger these last few weeks. You even helped me out in L.A."  
>"L.A.!" They both came to the realization a few moments later.<p>

"But what about L.A.?" Kate wondered. "You were helping me. And yeah, I got mad at you when you were blowing my cover, but then you ended up helping me find the next break in the case. So there was no threat to the friendship there."

"And I was worried that you were going to actually shoot Royce's killer, but you didn't," Rick remembered. "And even if you had, I would have been disappointed, but I would have understood, and it certainly wouldn't have made me want to stay away from you. I would have gotten you the best lawyer money could buy and done everything I could to help keep you out of prison."

"So what else is there?" Kate wondered aloud, a note of frustration in her voice.

The answer came to Rick a moment later, but he hesitated to share it. Instead, he decided to wait for Kate to think of it herself. This was enough like building theory that he was certain it wouldn't take long. He was proven right with her next words.

"The hotel," Kate whispered, stricken. _That means it _can't _be about our friendship._

"It was like last summer, when I had given up hope on things ever changing between us," Rick said. "Not that I had completely given up that night in L.A., even though I knew Josh was in the picture, or thought I knew-"

"But he wasn't," Kate said. "I broke up with him weeks ago."

"So even though he wasn't in the picture, I didn't know that yet," Rick went on. "And when we sitting on the couch, and I was telling you what I was thinking when I first saw you, that you were a mystery I was never going to solve, then-"

"Then it was all I could do to get up from that couch," Kate said, something Rick already knew because of her memory that he had seen.

"And it was all I could do to not kiss you," Rick confessed.

"I would have let you," Kate admitted. "When I came back in the room, I mean. I would have probably even asked you to. I might have just ended up throwing myself at you. I don't _do_ that, ever. But that night..."

"I know," Rick said. His hands were clenched into fists as he struggled to keep from reaching out for Kate now. This was almost harder than seeing her fantasies. He could hear the hesitancy and the longing in her voice. He could see the same desire in her eyes that he had seen when he had opened the door a few days ago after shortly getting out of the shower. She'd had the fantasy of doing that very thing then, of asking him to kiss her. If she had a fantasy now, he wasn't sure how he was going to be able to keep up the restraint he had fought so hard to maintain.

"If you hadn't been able to read my mind-" Kate began the thought.

"And if I hadn't been able to see your memories-" Rick continued.

"Then who knows what would have happened-" Kate went on.

"How long it would have taken-" Rick said.

"For you to know any of it, to have any idea-" Kate's voice cracked on the last word.

"About what you were really thinking," Rick concluded their shared thought.

"Would you have given up, Rick?" Kate asked. This was one of those times that Rick wasn't surprised by her using his first name. She was definitely emotional enough to do so by this point.

"I don't know what to tell you, Kate," Rick answered honestly. "Not right away, I know that for sure. But thinking that you were with Josh, that you were happy with him? I suppose it's possible."

Rick saw Kate's eyes glisten with unshed tears before she swiftly turned away. "I need to go," she whispered.

"Kate," Rick called out to her in the same tone he had that night in the L.A. hotel room.

"I'm sorry, Castle," Kate said, her voice a little above a whisper now. "But I need to go...somewhere." Rick saw an image of Lanie, Kate's best friend and closest female confidant, flash through Kate's mind. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I just need to-"

Rick understood. This was a lot for Kate to take in. It made sense that she would need to talk it over with Lanie, that she would need time to think. Considering that Lanie had rooted for them to get together for years, Rick wasn't all that worried. But he hated that Kate had to deal with such inner turmoil. The longing to gather Kate in his arms and tell her how much she meant to him, give her all the reassurances she needed, was so strong he realized that he was shaking with the effort to hold it all in. Right now, though, she needed time away from him. So that's what he was going to give her.

Martha walked over to her son and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Until tomorrow, detective," he said in a surprisingly steady voice. He wasn't sure whether he was glad his mother was still there, or if he'd rather have faced this on his own.

_I'm sorry, Rick._

With that last thought, Kate walked out the door and was gone.

**As always, please review. Thank you, martini, for the "what Kate wants." Kate may have not thought it was funny, but Castle, Martha and I sure did! I think if she hadn't been in such emotional turmoil, Kate would have seen the humor in it, too. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Although it's really late here, I just couldn't wait until a decent time of day to post this. I'm really excited about this chapter. It was such fun to write. Lanie's discussion with Kate will be in this chapter. I just had to find a way to still have it be from Castle's POV. That took me a tiny bit to figure out and is the main reason for the delay in posting this.**

**Disclaimer: I don't even remember when I last did one of these, so I'd better do another one. I do not own Castle, which just means that I can have tons of fun writing fan fiction about it. Now if there was just a way to get Andrew Marlowe to read some of them (there are some awesome fan fics out there that would work perfectly for the show; whenever I read one, I mention it when I leave a review). **

Honey, just because you can't see what's going on, doesn't mean that everyone else can't see what's going on.

**A Rose For Everafter**

"She said 'see you tomorrow, right?" Rick asked Martha a few moments after Kate had left the loft. A part of him couldn't believe that he was asking his mother, of all people, for reassurance. But she was the only one there, and for all of her love of melodrama, Rick knew that she could be a surprisingly steady anchor when he was falling apart. Which he was on the verge of doing at that very moment.

"Yes, darling, she did," Martha said.

Rick didn't know how much more of this he could take. Those days without Kate after he'd told her about being able to read her mind, with her cold "Unless I call you" ringing in his ears, had hit him hard. Having her need to leave again, this time looking like she was on the verge of tears, tore at his already battered heart. Even though he understood her need to go, it still felt like rejection.

Rick had no clue how long he'd stood there lost in thought, Martha's hand still on his shoulder. He usually needed to keep himself busy, but he just couldn't bring himself to move from the spot where he'd been standing when he'd last seen Kate.

After a while, Rick admitted to his mother that he just needed some time to himself. After giving him a brief hug, Martha headed upstairs.

Finally, not knowing what else to do, Rick went to his office to get his laptop. Settling down on the couch in the family room, he started writing. Like he had done the last time he'd been without Kate, Rick poured out all of his thoughts and feelings in a short story that no one else would read. This time, though, he couldn't even bring himself to use the fictional names of Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook. It was either write or hurl a glass-or two or three or four-against the wall. That was way too violent a reaction for his taste, and would probably make his mother more worried about him than she already was. It would make _him_ more worried about his emotional state than he already was.

Rick had just shut down his computer and was contemplating at least attempting to sleep when an image of Kate and Lanie filled his mind.

For the first time since the whole mind reading thing had started, Rick began to feel real hope. He recognized what he was seeing as one of Kate's memories. That meant that she had to be close. It also meant that she was showing the memory to him willingly. Which meant that maybe, just maybe, Kate Beckett was finally done hiding...

* * *

><p>"Girl, you're a mess," where the first words out of Lanie's mouth when she saw her distraught friend. "So are you going to tell me what this is all about?"<p>

"He knows, Lanie," Kate choked out. "He knows everything."  
>"What are you talking about?" Lanie asked. "Does this have something to do with Castle?"<p>

Kate nodded.

"So what exactly does Castle know?" Lanie questioned her friend.

"Everything, Lanie!" The words burst out of Kate. "Last summer, the hotel room, the fantasies-everything!"

"Whoa, back up, girl," Lanie said. "You're making very little sense right now." Then her eyes went wide as what Kate had just said sunk in. "Hold on, did you say fantasies?"

"If that was all he knew about, it wouldn't be so bad," Kate admitted. "I could deal with him knowing how much I-"

"Want to get your freak on with Writer Boy?" Lanie supplied with a knowing smirk.

"Lanie!" Kate could feel her face growing hot.

"Just calling it like I see it," Lanie said with a shrug.

"I wouldn't put it exactly like that, Lanie," Kate said. "That makes is sound too...and it's more...it just sounds wrong, okay?"

"Ah, I think I get it." Lanie smiled slyly at her friend. "It makes is sound like its just lust when we both know it's a lot more like love. Am I right?"

"Lanie!"

"Don't Lanie me," Lanie was in no way intimidated. "You've been in love with that man for at least a solid year. If you don't see that, the only one you've been fooling is yourself."

"I was mostly trying to fool him," Kate mumbled.

Lanie shook her head. "Bad idea," she said. "What if you succeeded? Esposito told me what he said to you last summer. Last year it was Demming. This year it's Josh. How long do you think Castle will hang around this time?"

There was no way Lanie could miss the way Kate flinched and tears glistened in her eyes, threatening to fall.

"I know," Kate whispered in a shaky voice. "It could have happened again. Castle could have left again. And if he had," a couple tears slipped from her eyes and slid down her cheeks, "he wouldn't have come back."

"So have you _finally _told him you and the doctor are history?" Lanie asked.

"He knows," Kate said, letting out a slow breath, trying to regain what little composure she had.

"That's something at least," Lanie said. "When did you tell him?"

_How do I explain this? _"I didn't," was all she ended up saying.

"Then who did?" Lanie asked.

"No one."

"You're not making sense again, Kate," Lanie said. "How does Castle know that you and Josh are no longer an item if no one has told him?"

"See, that's where things get weird."

"Things are rarely normal with Castle," Lanie pointed out.

"True," Kate agreed with her friend's assessment of her partner. "But this is weird, even for Castle. Mind reading is involved."

"Did you just say mind reading?" Lanie asked. "You, who laugh at Castle's alien theories and roll your eyes at psychics?"  
>"It's like Castle said, Lanie, mind reading would be really hard to fake."<p>

"And yet he pulled it off well enough to fool you?"

Kate sighed. "I didn't believe him at first. But then..."

"What?"

"He knew that I thought his alien infiltrating the C.I.A. theory was funny, because he could hear me laughing in my mid. Then he knew that I was wondering if he was pulling a prank because of the whole mummy curse thing, when the guys and I rigged his chair and the espresso machine. Without me having said a word out loud. Then he started answering my thoughts..."

"Okay, okay," Lanie held up a hand to stop Kate's flow of words. "So he can read your mind."

Suddenly Kate felt a twinge of panic. 'You can't let anyone know, Lanie," she implored her friend. "We'll be thrown into a psych ward. Or some government agency will treat us like lab rats."

"Don't worry," Lanie said. "If I told anyone, I'd be right there with you." She thought for a moment, and then a wide smile graced her lips. "These fantasies you have about Castle...what exactly can he hear?"

"Anything I'm saying or thinking," Kate said. "But it's more than that. He can see them, too. Like he's watching a movie, or something."

Lanie squealed with glee. "So after a mind-blowing kiss, then what happened?" she asked, assuming that Rick's seeing Kate's fantasies had to have resulted in a kiss between the two. "Something obviously went wrong, or you wouldn't be here right now."

"Kiss?" Kate was puzzled. "What does that have to do with anything? That happened months ago."  
>"You kissed Castle <em>months<em> ago and didn't tell me?" Lanie shrieked.

"Lanie, calm down. It was an undercover thing, to throw off the guard so that we could get in to save Ryan and Esposito. I haven't even spoken with Castle about it."

"So how was it?"

"I really can't think about that right now."  
>"Nuh uh, girl," Lanie said with a shake of her head. "Spill."<br>"Fine," Kate grudgingly gave in. "I'll just say this-most of the fantasies have those kisses in there somewhere."

"Did you say kisses? As in more than one?"

_Oops. Now I'm in for it._

"The first one wasn't enough to fool the guard," Kate explained. "So yeah, there was more than one."

"How _many_ more?" Lanie demanded to know.

_There's no way Lanie is going to let this go._

Kate chuckled and shook her head at her news hungry friend. "Just the two, Lanie. But it was enough to fool the guard."

"And give you fodder for fantasies for months," Lanie's eyes were shinning with excitement. "Some of which Castle has seen. So what about the kiss he gave you after seeing your fantasies?"

_What is Lanie talking about?_

"He didn't kiss me," Kate said, her tone showing her confusion at her friend's comment. "And before you ask, I didn't kiss him, either. I came close once," Kate admitted, thinking of when Castle had opened the door in nothing but a towel, "but nothing happened."

"You're telling me that Richard Castle, whom has practically every unattached woman between 25 and 45 that can get close enough throwing themselves at him on a fairly consistent basis, didn't so much as kiss you when he saw your fantasies? Fantasies that were about him, I might add?"

_Lanie has a point. Why _didn't _Castle try anything? I know he's not as much the playboy as the media makes him out to be, but he's no monk, either. So why?_

"What _did_ he do?" Lanie asked.

Kate wracked her brain, trying to remember. "He either pretended like nothing happened or he left the room. Once I followed him into the break room, because I was worried about him."

"And then what happened?"

"He told me that he was trying to remember all the good reasons to not kiss me," Kate said, unable to stop the blush that reddened her cheeks. "Because he said that was the only thing stopping him from kissing me."

"And then?" Lanie pressed.

"Then, nothing," Kate said. "After that we were focused on trying to figure everything out about the mind reading."

Lanie's lips curved into a beaming smile. "That is so cute!"  
>"What is?"<p>

"Don't you see what he was doing?" Lanie asked excitedly.

"No," Kate drew the word out slowly, showing that she was at a complete loss over what Lanie was getting at.

"He was being a gentleman, honey," Lanie explained. "He knew that you couldn't control your thoughts, so he was either running from temptation or acting like it wasn't a big deal, so that you wouldn't be embarrassed. Or at least any more embarrassed than you already were."

"That's not all," Kate suddenly realized aloud. "When he found out about how I really felt when he went away to the Hamptons last summer, he didn't insist that we talk about it. All he did was give me a hug and tell me about the mind reading thing. And then again, when he knew everything I was thinking about at the hotel in L.A., he-"

"He what?" Lanie asked.

"He gave me what I needed," Kate said, still somewhat stunned by her epiphany.

_He gave me the space I needed. Like he's doing right now._

"I need to go," Kate said suddenly.

_I need to go now. I can't wait until tomorrow. I need to see him now._

"Go where?" Lanie asked, although the twinkle in her eye showed that she knew.

"To see Castle."

**So what did you guys think? There is only going to be another chapter or two of this, but I'm debating having an epilogue. Would you guys rather the story end on an emotional note (no epilogue) or a humorous one? I'll let you guys decide.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Well, here it is, the last chapter. There will be an epilogue, though, so there will be one more posting for this story. Once again I'm posting late and my mind is too tired to think of what to write in this, but I wanted to get this to you guys as soon as possible. You have all been amazing and your reviews and support for this story have made a huge impact on the twists and turns this story has taken.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. One reviewer pointed out that Andrew Marlowe's using ideas from fan fics would bring up plagiarism issues (although would the same rules apply to fan fiction? Since we don't own the characters anyway?) I can see her point, but it wouldn't be a problem for me. I would be ecstatic if he chose something I had written to add into an episode. It would be more than enough for me to see one of my ideas in an episode. But I guess the creators of the show don't read the fan fics. Oh, well. At least we get to dream as we wait for when Caskett will really get together.**

"He's not a cop."

"Well, who the hell is he, then?"

"He's someone I trust."

**Knockdown**

Rick didn't even wait for Kate to knock on the door before opening it. She looked like she was still lost in thought and hadn't noticed that he was standing right in front of her.

_I wish I was the type of woman that could just throw myself into his arms. I could really use one of Castle's hugs right now._

Rick was tempted to take her into his arms right then and there. But Kate had been gradually opening up to him over the last couple days, and he wanted her to know that she could be completely honest with him about what she was thinking and feeling. He wanted her to know that she didn't have to hide with him.

"You can say it, Kate," Rick told her gently.

Kate's startled eyes locked with his. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

_He heard? Well, of course he heard. So why won't he just..._

"Say the words," Rick said. "You need to say the words."

_I need to ask? But why?_

Rick shook his head. "It's not that you need to ask, Kate," he said. "But we don't know how long the mind reading will last, so we can't grow too dependant on it."

_I know you're right, Castle. I'm just not used to saying what's on my mind. I didn't expect it to be this hard._

"It will help to start small," Rick tenderly prodded.

_This isn't small. I'm not used to needing anything. Not like this._

Rick knew that admitting even that much wasn't easy for Kate. He knew she was used to hiding her emotions, even from those closest to her.

Kate closed her eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath. "I could really use a hug right now," she finally whispered.

Rick didn't even wait for her to finish. As soon as the word 'hug' passed her lips, he gathered her into his arms, his chin resting lightly on top of her head. As soon as his arms were around her, he felt the tension drain from Kate's body as she rested her head on his shoulder and snuggled into his embrace.

A couple minutes passed without either of them moving, neither of them saying a word. Now that Kate had come to him, now that she was in his arms, Rick was content to wait for when Kate was ready to talk.

_I could really get used to this. Castle's hugs are addicting._

Rick couldn't hold back his smile. "Any time you need a fix, Detective, you just let me know," he told her.

A giggle escaped from Kate before she could stop it.

Rick's grin grew wider. He loved hearing that carefree, happy sound.

"Castle?" Kate's tone was slightly hesitant as she eased out of the hug and looked up at him, her green gaze meeting his blue one.

"Yeah?"

"I know we need to talk," Kate said, "that _I_ need to talk. That there are things that I need to tell you. But I just don't know where to start."

"The beginning usually works best," Rick said, thinking like the writer he was.

_Which beginning, though? When we first met? When you first started reading my mind? When I found out about you knowing what I was thinking?_

"It depends," Rick told her seriously, "on what you want to talk about." Not that he didn't know, or at least have the general idea. But he was determined not to push her into saying something before she was ready. Encourage, yes. Push, no.

_When I found out, then._

"At first, I was mortified," Kate started. "I tried so hard to hide so much, only to find out that you discovered in two days what I've been trying to hide for months. I was mad at you at first, for not telling me. But after I was able to calm down, I understood why you handled things the way that you did. I told myself that we could just wait until the mind reading stopped and then have you come back to the precinct. It wasn't long before I told myself I was being ridiculous, that I could control my thoughts around you; there was no need for you to have to stay away. The truth was I was missing you too much, and I couldn't stand not knowing when I would see you again. It felt too much like-"

Abruptly Kate's flow of words stopped.

Rick had a feeling that he knew. "Like last summer?"

Kate lowered her gaze and nodded.

"Kate, look at me," Rick said softly.

_I don't know if I can. Not right now. Not with so many emotions so close to the surface..._

"Kate," was all he said, in that same soft tone.

Taking a deep breath, Kate lifted her gaze back to his. Rick's heart clenched at the tears shinning in her eyes.

"That will _never_ happen again," he promised.

Kate shook her head. "It could," she argued, her voice raspy as she fought to keep her emotions under control. "You even said that if I had stayed with Josh long enough, you would probably leave again. And this time, you wouldn't be coming back."

"That's not what I said, Kate."

"Yes, you-"

"I said that if I thought that you were happy with Josh, there might have been a possibility that I would leave, because I wouldn't want to be in the way," Rick corrected her. "Even then, I'm not sure I would have had the strength to do it. Not until you had his ring on your finger, most likely. Any chance of me ever leaving was gone, though, when I first started hearing your thoughts. Even if you still had been with Josh, I would have waited. Because there's no way that you could have been thinking the things you were if you were happy with him. When I found out that you had broken up with Josh, I knew there was no way I was leaving your side unless you ordered me to. Probably not even then."

Kate's relief radiated from her eyes. "I couldn't have taken it," she confessed. "I didn't handle the first time very well. Having to deal with it again..." she shuddered.

"That's something you never have to worry about," Rick assured her.

_I don't want to waste any more time. I don't want to risk another situation like-_

Abruptly, another memory came to Kate's mind. Rick winced when he recognized what she was remembering: them, trapped in the freezer. They had gone into what they had thought was an ordinary room to get away from the men shooting at them. They hadn't realized until too late the danger they were in...

* * *

><p>Rick and Kate had been trapped in the freezer for over an hour and were now huddled together, trying to keep as warm as possible. The cold was catching up with them, though, and they were both starting to fade.<p>

_Castle hasn't said anything in a long time. Is he still okay?_

"Hey, there?" was all she could get out.

"I'm right-I'm right here," Rick assured her.

"Can't feel anything," she admitted.

_Can't feel Castle's arms around me. I can't feel him. I wish I could feel him._

"I always thought, being a cop, I'd take a bullet," she rasped. "I never thought I'd freeze to death."

"Hey, w-w-we're not dead yet," Rick pointed out, his constant shivering making it difficult to get the words out.

_How would Castle get Nikki and Rook out of this kind of situation?_

"Just wish this was one of your books and you could rewrite the ending," Kate's voice was faint but wistful.

"I-I'm sorry," Rick said, his voice faint and cracking.

_Why would he say that? What would he possibly have to be sorry for?_

"For what?" Kate wondered aloud.

"For being me, going rogue," Rick explained. "Getting int-into this. If we hadn't gone r-"

_No, how could he think that? He can't feel bad. Not now. Not when we might-_

"Oh, shh," Kate tried to give him the reassurance she could. "Shh. Castle no, 'kay. Shh. You were right. We found the bomb. We were just too late, okay?"

_He's here. He makes it so I don't have to go through this alone. He can't feel bad for that._

She slowly turned so that she was closer, so that he could hear her better, "Thank you," she whispered, shocked at how much effort she had to put into the action as she raised her hand to touch his chin. "For being there." Her hand fell limply down to rest on his chest.

"Always." Rick promised.

_Always. Wish we had always. Fading. Don't know how much longer...Need to tell him...love...always..._

"I just want you to know how much I l-" Kate was able to get out before everything went black.

* * *

><p>Rick could tell that the memory had shaken Kate as much as it had him. He had wondered, after they had been rescued from the freezer, what Kate had meant to tell him. But when she saw that Josh was there and hadn't gone to Haiti like he had originally planned, she had told Rick that she and Josh had a chance. After hearing that, Rick figured that thinking that she was trying to tell him she loved him was nothing more than his writer's imagination prompted by wishful thinking. Now, though...<p>

_You can do this, Kate. Just tell him._

"I was wrong," Kate said after a couple seconds of silence. "I kept thinking of the conversation we had once, where I told you I could see the wisdom of staying with the guy that was safe, rather than risking the heart on the guy that was just eventually going to let you down. For so long I thought that if I gave you my heart, it would just end up getting shattered. But now-"

"Now what, Kate?" Rick asked when she didn't finish.

_I can do this. I never thought it would be easy to talk to him like this, but now...it just seems right, somehow._

"You are like the guy that's a risk," she continued. "You did upset my apple cart, my carefully constructed life. You make me feel alive in ways I don't remember feeling, ever."

Kate startled him by taking his hands in hers before she went on, "What I didn't figure out until I was talking to Lanie is that you're also like the guy who is safe. Making a commitment isn't an issue with you. You would do anything for those you care about."

"Always," Rick said in a voice roughened with emotion.

"Always," she agreed. "My heart is safe with you. And I just want you to know how much I love you." Rick was shocked when Kate tugged on his hands and pulled him towards her. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly to her. "So much, Rick. I love you so much. That's why I was so scared. The feelings are so strong, so intense. You've seen it, those memories, those fantasies. Taking down suspects, interrogating serial killers, no problem. But letting you know how much you mean to me has terrified me."

"I know," Rick tightened his arms around her. "I could see how scared you were, when I saw your memories. I love you Kate. I will _always_ love you. And I know how huge this is, that you've stopped hiding your heart. I will never take your love for granted. I made a promise to myself that I would protect your heart with everything I have, and now I'm making you that promise. You don't ever have to be scared to show your love to me, Kate. Ever."

Rick had wondered how long his control would hold out until he couldn't do it anymore and he kissed her like he'd been wanting to for so long. When she pulled back from his embrace and looked into his eyes, the adoration in her gaze made resisting no longer possible. He smiled when he realized she was thinking the same thing.

_I can't wait anymore. I need to kiss him. Now._

They closed the little distance that was between them and their lips softly met.

_Amazing._

It was a new experience for Rick, hearing the thoughts of the woman he was kissing. He liked it.

_More._

Rick smiled against her lips before he deepened the kiss and gave his pent up passion free reign, a passion matched by hers. He drew her even closer as she melted against him, clinging to him.

_Yum._

If Rick hadn't been so caught up in finally kissing Kate, he would have laughed. She was so adorable.

_I could do this forever._

Rick felt exactly the same way. It was so much more than just passion that he felt as their lips danced. There was plenty of that, but equally strong were the feelings of protectiveness, thankfulness and love that flooded him.

When the kiss finally ended, neither could wipe the elated smiles off their faces or hide the adoration shinning in both of their gazes.

_If your hugs are addicting, there are no words for your kisses._

Rick beamed at that. He loved knowing how much his kisses meant to her. He received further proof when Kate went to take a step and her legs buckled. Chuckling, he caught her and swept her into his arms.

"Rick!" she protested laughingly.

"No arguing, Kate," Rick said. "When you can't walk, I get to carry you. Those are the rules."

"The rules, huh?" Kate asked, her eyes dancing with mirth. "If that happens every time we kiss, we're in trouble."

"I think I can handle it," Rick told her with a playful smirk.

_I know he can._

Rick couldn't hold back his delighted laugh at her thought. A blush tinged her cheeks, but she was still smiling.

He loved this. He was getting to see the playful side of her that had only ever been hinted at. She was truly letting him in, freely revealing her heart to him. He was sure there would be things they'd have to figure out, especially at the precinct. For now, though, while it was just the two of them, she was holding nothing back.

Finally, after all of this time, Rick Castle finally knew everything.


	15. Chapter 15

**Well, this is only a day late. The story was written on time, but the editing still needed to be done. I want to thank each and every one of you that have read this story. You have all been such an encouragement to me. I want to give a special thank you to all of you that sent a review. Your insights and questions have truly made this an interactive story. Special mention to:  
>*beladiola, JamesRook, catatran33, morethanamuse, and everyone else that mentioned the movie "What Women Want"<strong>

***Phnxgrl, whose review of chapter one gave me the idea of where Rick got his ability to read Kate's mind**

***Maybelliene, who mentioned Rick overhearing what Kate thought during the undercover kiss; I wasn't able to work that idea in, but it gave me the idea to have him overhear her thoughts when they first kissed after admitting their true feelings**

***Martini, for the 'what Kate wants' comment**

***DarlingDracorex, who mentioned Kate having a conversation with Lanie and gave me the idea of using the scene where Caskett is trapped in the freezer as a prompt for Kate telling Rick how she feels about him.**

***Baterista9, who drove home the need for scene breaks; because of you, I figured out how to make them :)**

***Tvbmadness and everyone else that mentioned being interested in the thought of the Caskett relationship being in danger; I hadn't even thought much about that until my co-editor mentioned it and then some of you mentioned it, too**

"Thank you. For having my back in there."

"Always."

**Knockdown**

"Dad, is it true?"

Rick looked up from the pancakes he was making for the family's breakfast to see his daughter, Alexis, coming down the stairs. True to form, the teenager was all ready for school, despite the fact that she didn't need to leave for a half hour. Well, all ready other than eating breakfast, that is. The girl's blue eyes held a mixture of curiosity and excitement.

"Is what true, Pumpkin?" Rick asked.

Alexis made her way across the family room and hopped onto one of the bar stools by the kitchen counter before replying. "Can you really read Detective Beckett's mind?"

Rick sighed. "I really wish Mother would have checked with me before telling you about that."  
>Alexis' eyes grew wide. "So it <em>is <em>true?"

Rick had never lied to his daughter and he wasn't about to start now. "Yes, it's true. How much did Mother actually tell you?" Rick wasn't planning to keep his daughter in the dark about the situation, but he knew well his mother's flare for drama and wanted to make sure that Alexis had facts, rather than mere speculation.

"Not much," Alexis admitted. "Grams thought you should be the one to explain it. She said you're," her hands made the quotations sign, "much better at spinning a tale than she is."

That made Rick smile. It made him think of Kate, since his mother had said those same exact words to Kate when she had asked Martha for information about Rick's mind reading abilities. Anything that reminded him of Kate made him smile.

"Dad?" Alexis's prompting tone told Rick that his mind had wandered for much longer a period of time than he had realized.

"Sorry, kiddo," he apologized. "So what exactly did your grandmother tell you?"

"Just that you'd found out that you could read Detective Beckett's mind and that I should ask you about it, since it's hereditary," Alexis said.

Rick realized that meant the same thing could happen to Alexis. He shuddered at the thought. His hearing Kate's mind was one thing; Alexis hearing the mind of some hormonal guy was something else entirely. At least if it happened, Rick would have the assurance that the man truly loved his daughter and the two were meant to be together.

"So are you going to tell me?" Alexis asked, thankfully interrupting Rick's thoughts.

Rick gave her the rundown on what he knew about their ancestors' mind reading abilities. He then explained the family speculation that the mind reading was tied to when soul mates were on the verge of getting together and when that relationship was threatened.

"So you and Detective Beckett are soul mates?" Alexis asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement. At Rick's nod, Alexis squealed and hurried over to give her father a hug. "I knew it!" she exclaimed as she pulled away from the hug. "So what happened?"

"I'm not going to lie to you," Rick said slowly. "But a lot of it is personal stuff that Kate and I want kept just between us. I can tell you that it started the day after we got back from L.A."

"That's why you didn't go to the precinct for a few days," Alexis realized. "That was when you told her, wasn't it? You didn't end up telling her right away and she was embarrassed, right? But you guys obviously worked through it. So what happens now?"

"We haven't had much of a chance to talk about it," Rick admitted. "But I don't think we're going to be jumping into anything. Eventually I'll be asking her to marry me, but something tells me that is going to need to be a ways off yet."

"Understandable," Alexis said. "You guys knew each other for almost two years before you admitted how you felt about each other. It wouldn't make sense for you to start rushing things now."

"So how do you feel about Kate someday becoming part of the family?" Rick asked. Considering his daughter's excitement over finding out that he and Kate were soul mates, Rick wasn't all that worried, but he needed to know.

"I like her, dad," Alexis said seriously. "She's nice, and smart, and although I haven't been around her a whole lot, I have a feeling that she feels as strongly for you as you do for her."

Rick smiled. "She does," he said. All he had seen and heard from Kate's mind had erased any doubt he might have had about that fact.

"Then all I need to do," Alexis said with a twinkle in her eye, "is make sure that I don't freak her out by welcoming her to the family too soon."

Rick knew he was grinning, close to beaming, when he stepped into one of the precinct elevators two hours later. He tried to school his features into a calm mask, but the poker face just wasn't working at the moment. The best he could do was a toned down grin, the joy shinning from his gaze destroying the impression of calmness that he wanted to portray.

It worried him a little. What would Kate's reaction be to his euphoric mood? They hadn't discussed how Kate wanted things to be handled at the precinct. And since they were now together, Rick had a feeling that he wouldn't be able to read her mind, so she wouldn't be able to give him some type of mental warning.

Although he'd been too caught up in Kate at the time to notice, Rick had wondered later why he could still read her mind after they had admitted their feelings for each other since their relationship was no longer in danger. Not that he was complaining. Hearing Kate's thoughts during their first real kiss was a gift he was grateful to have. But since the only information he had to go on was that the mind reading was linked to either soul mates close to expressing their feelings or the relationship being in danger, he was a little concerned.

He just hoped that is was something simple, like the affects not wearing off until he fell asleep. Since he'd actually been able to get a good night's rest, his ability to read Kate's mind might now be gone. And maybe that was true for when the mind reading started, too. After all, their relationship had been in danger after that night in L.A., yet the mind reading hadn't started until he had gotten to the precinct the day after they had arrived back in New York. So that could be the key: the mind reading didn't start until after he fell asleep once the trigger occurred (because truthfully he hadn't really done any sleeping that night in L.A., anyway).

He had fallen asleep on the plane ride back to New York, though. So why didn't the mind reading start once he'd woken up from that? Maybe it was because he hadn't really fully woken up, even with the bright lights of the airport. He had just been too drained from the previous sleepless night and all of the thoughts and emotions he'd been wrestling with to come to full alertness at the airport. So maybe it was an issue of falling completely asleep and waking to full alertness for the mind reading to be affected.

Rick realized when the elevator doors opened that all of this mental pondering had the unexpected benefit of having him look deep in thought instead of having the beaming grin of a man in love.

That changed, though, the instant he saw Kate sitting at her desk, pouring over paperwork. He knew that the rush of tenderness that flooded him had to be showing on his face. Kate must have felt his eyes on her, because only a moment passed before she lifted her gaze. Her eyes immediately lit up and a beaming smile graced her lips. The sight made Rick want to jump up and down like the nine year old on a sugar rush that she had once accused him of being.

After a moment, she arched a brow questioningly at him. Rick knew that she was asking whether he was able to read her mind. Rick looked intently into her eyes, but there was nothing but silence. He had never had to look directly into her eyes before to hear her thoughts, but he didn't want to take any chances. He gave a quick shake of his head, silently letting her know that he could no longer read her mind. His ability to read her mind might be gone, but their ability to communicate without saying a word had been around, in some form, for most of the time they had known each other.

"Dude, did you see that?" Rick heard Ryan whisper to Esposito as he set Kate's coffee on her desk.

Rick set his coffee down next to Kate's and immediately walked past his chair and over to stand between Ryan and Esposito. "Break room, guys," Rick said in a tone not to be argued with, "now."

"Taking lessons from Beckett, Castle?" Ryan joked.

"I'm not kidding, guys." Rick was not taking any chances. He had heard too many locker talk type conversations where guys spoke about women like they were empty-headed bimbos. Heck, he had participated in more than a few. The women in question, though, had always been the ones that Rick knew had talked about him to their girlfriends like he was a piece of meat.

The tone in Ryan's voice had tipped Rick off to what the detective was thinking, what type of information he was looking for. No one was going to be talking about Kate like that. Ever.

Ryan and Esposito exchanged surprised looks, shrugged, and got up and followed Rick to the break room. After Rick had shut the door, he didn't mince words.

"There will be no teasing of Kate over this. None. You guys are great detectives, and I know you have figured out that something has gone on. How much you guys find out depends on Kate. Tease me all you want, but you will leave Kate alone. Got it?"

"Sheesh, bro, being a little melodramatic, don't you think?" Esposito asked.

Rick wasn't too surprised by the question. The two detectives had no idea how emotionally vulnerable Kate really was, but he did. Rick had no intention of enlightening the pair, but there was no way he was going to let them hurt her, or make her feel ashamed or embarrassed about her feelings for him. He had promised her that he would protect her heart, and he meant it.

"Would you want Esposito and me to talk about Jenny like that, like she's some empty-headed bimbo?" Rick asked Ryan and saw the man flinch. He turned to Esposito. "You probably wouldn't be too happy with me and Ryan if we spoke about Lanie that way, either."

At Esposito's nod, Rick relaxed. "Okay, then."  
>"Sorry, man," Ryan said.<p>

"Not a problem," Rick said. "As long as you stick to teasing me and leaving Kate out of it, we're good."

"Sure thing, man," Ryan said.

The two detectives walked to their desks and Rick went over and sat down in his chair. It was only then that he realized that Kate may not be exactly happy with what he had just done.

Kate touched one of Rick's hands lightly with one of hers, a soft smile on her face. "I know what you were doing," she told him. "You were keeping your promise. Thank you."

"Always," Rick said.

The ringing of Kate's phone drew Kate's attention away from him for a brief moment. "Beckett," she answered, as she usually did. Her light laugh and "We'll be right down," told Rick who was on the other end of the line.

"Lanie wants to see me," Kate told him. "You coming?"

Rick nodded eagerly and followed her down to the morgue where Lanie was impatiently waiting.

"Girl, you better tell me that you figured things out with Writer-" Lanie's lecture stopped abruptly when she saw that Rick had come with Kate. She squealed and gave Kate a quick hug.

"I would tell you that you better treat my girl right," Lanie said to Rick, "but I don't think I'll have to worry about that, will I?"

Rick shook his head. "The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt Kate," he said.

"He even threatened the guys," Kate informed her friend. "I don't know exactly what he said, but I don't think I'll have to worry about them teasing me over all of this."

Lanie's eyes widened. "And you let Castle get away with that?"

Kate smiled and took one of Rick's hands in one of hers. "He told me he would protect my heart, Lanie. After promising something like that, do you really think I wouldn't let him?"  
>Lanie's jaw dropped. "Girl, you never cease to amaze me," she said.<p>

"I know exactly what you mean," Rick told Lanie.

All Lanie could say to that was, "You guys are just so stinkin' cute!"

"I'm going to miss being able to always know what's on your mind," Rick told Kate hours later. It was early evening and since they were between cases at the moment, the Captain had suggested that they take off early. Neither Kate nor Rick had a problem taking the man up on his suggestion.

As they walked to the parking garage where Kate had parked her car that morning-Rick had just taken a taxi-the two decided they would just spend the evening over at the loft with Martha and Alexis. Rick had told Kate how excited his mother and daughter were about the two of them, although he didn't tell Kate _everything_ that he and Alexis had discussed that morning-no reason to scare her off.

"It will be easier to tell you what's on my mind now, though," Kate said as they reached her car. "And besides," she continued, "if you were able to read my mind, I wouldn't be able to do this."

Rick looked over at Kate with a confused gaze. Kate didn't acknowledge it but just unlocked and opened the back passenger door. Rick's puzzlement mounted when Kate tugged on his hand and propelled him to where he was level with the door she had just opened. Rick had figured that she had just opened it to toss her purse in the back seat, but he was proven wrong when she said, "It's not a squad car, but it will have to do."

Squad car? The words stirred a memory in Rick's mind, and as Kate lightly pushed him into the back seat his lips broke into a wide grin. He remembered all too well the first fantasy Kate ever had of him, of kissing him in the back of a squad car. He was just as willing to fulfill Kate's fantasy now as he was when he had first seen it.

"Going to have your wicked way with me, Detective?" Rick teased as Kate took her handcuffs and slipped one around Rick's wrist and the other around the metal part of the driver's seat headrest.

"Oh, yeah," Kate murmured, and leaned forward and touched his lips with hers. The kisses that she dropped on his lips were maddeningly light for Rick. When an idea popped into his head, true to form, he acted on it. Having perfected the technique when Kate had cuffed him to the car to try to keep him from following her into danger during their very first case, Rick took the small key out of his right jeans pocket and unlocked the metal restraint. Rick knew that if he didn't act fast, Kate would catch on to his plan. Thankfully, she seemed too focused on kissing him in a way meant to drive him crazy to notice much else.

In a lightning fast move, Rick scooped her in his arms and shifted so that Kate lay with her back against the seat with Rick hovering over her. Kate's look of astonishment caused him to laugh as he gently took her wrist and slipped one part of the handcuff around it, securing the other part back to the metal part of the headrest.

"Or maybe," he whispered, his lips a mere hairbreadth's from hers, "I'll just have my wicked way with you." He brushed her lips softly with his own before saying, "I already have a safe word. Maybe we should give you one, too. I recommend cherries."

Kate laughed. "Something tells me I won't need a safe word with you, Rick," she told him.

Rick grinned. She had a point. Not only did she know tons of mixed martial arts moves that could take him down in a fraction of a second, but he would never want to hurt her, even in jest.

And, he noted, as Kate deftly used her key to unhook her wrist from the handcuff around it, she could get out of restraints faster than he could.

As Kate's arms slid down to rest against his chest and they started to kiss in earnest, Rick decided that she was right. As much as he had gained from being able to read her mind, there were simply things that couldn't be done when he knew everything that she was thinking.

And whether he could read her mind or not, Kate Beckett remained a mystery he would never completely be able to solve.

Rick wouldn't have it any other way.

**Please R&R. I'm really curious what you guys think about this. And just an FYI-when I was looking through Castle YouTube clips, I discovered that there was a scene where Castle said that there were mind readers in his family tree. I couldn't believe it! I had forgotten all about that scene and it was in no way a prompt for this idea, unless it was subconsciously.**

**Until next time...and there will be a next time. I have two one shots and three potential multi-chapter ideas percolating in my head right now. One of the multi-chapter stories I will be writing with Celeste J. Evans and SheWhoTangles. It will be in Celeste's stories. Those of you that like the uniqueness of this story I think will really get a kick out of it.**


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